Longing is an unavoidable part of the human condition that can take many forms and has been described in various ways throughout history. It has been associated with desire, love, pain, loss, and nostalgia, among other things. It's often accompanied by feelings of yearning for something absent or missing in one's life, whether it be a person, place, thing, or experience. In this article, I will explore what longing reveals about human incompleteness, drawing on literary works, psychological theories, and personal experiences to illustrate my point.
One of the most significant insights into the nature of longing comes from literary analysis. The English Romantic poet John Keats once wrote, "A thing of beauty is a joy forever," implying that even the briefest moment of beauty can leave an indelible mark on the soul. This notion speaks to the idea that humans are incomplete without certain experiences or objects that fulfill their deepest desires and longings.
In Shakespeare's Sonnet 18, he writes, "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate." The poem expresses the speaker's longing for someone who embodies all the qualities they admire but cannot possess themselves, and the comparison between the beloved and a seasonal event highlights the fleeting nature of such experiences. The poem also suggests that the speaker must accept the imperfection of their own reality while acknowledging the perfection of their idealized object.
Psychologically, longing has been linked to unfulfilled needs and desires, which can arise due to various reasons such as childhood trauma, cultural norms, or societal expectations. According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, humans have physical and social needs, followed by safety and belongingness requirements, then esteem and self-actualization needs. Fulfillment of these needs creates a sense of wholeness and completeness, while the lack thereof leads to feelings of emptiness and inadequacy. Longing arises when one feels a discrepancy between their current state and what they perceive as necessary for fulfillment.
If a person lacks intimacy in their life, they may experience loneliness and yearn for companionship. Similarly, those with low self-esteem may feel incomplete without validation from others, leading to an intense desire for approval.
Personally speaking, I experienced my share of longing throughout my teenage years, especially when it came to finding romantic love. As a shy and introverted individual, I struggled to find meaningful connections with people, often feeling left out or rejected by peers who seemed more confident and extroverted. This led me on a journey of longing for acceptance, validation, and belonging, which was not easy to overcome until I began to understand my own worth and value. My experiences helped me recognize that many people share similar feelings of incompleteness and seek fulfillment through relationships, work, hobbies, or other means. The key is to identify what brings us joy and pursue it actively, knowing that we will never be complete in ourselves but can strive towards greater wholeness.
Longing reveals our human frailty, vulnerability, and imperfection. It shows us how far we are from perfection and what we must do to achieve personal growth and fulfillment. By acknowledging our needs, desires, and fears, we can better navigate the world and create lasting bonds with others. We should embrace the beauty of life's imperfections while continuously seeking ways to improve ourselves and our surroundings.
What does the experience of longing reveal about human incompleteness?
Longing refers to an intense desire for something that is absent from one's life, which can lead to feelings of emptiness, frustration, and sadness. The experience of longing can be both painful and pleasurable, as it involves imagining what could have been but never was or might never be again. It often stems from a sense of unfulfillment in life and a yearning for something more meaningful or purposeful.