Cognitive Dissonance is an uncomfortable psychological state that occurs when a person holds two conflicting beliefs or values simultaneously. It can be caused by many things, but it is commonly experienced when someone's behavior does not align with their personal ethics or moral standards. This often happens when people engage in behaviors or actions that are considered to be wrong, immoral, or unethical, such as cheating, lying, stealing, or harming others. In this case, individuals may experience cognitive dissonance because they feel guilty about what they have done. They may also question their own morality and believe that they are not living up to their own expectations.
When it comes to sexual behavior, cognitive dissonance can occur when someone's public behavior contradicts their private desires or beliefs.
A person may claim to believe in traditional gender roles and family values, while secretly enjoying consensual BDSM relationships outside of their marriage. When these conflicting beliefs come into conflict, it can create a feeling of internal tension and discomfort. To reduce this tension, some people will change their behavior to match their public persona. Others may try to rationalize their behavior by downplaying its importance or minimizing the negative consequences. Still, others may become defensive and aggressive towards anyone who challenges their beliefs or behaviors.
There are ways to manage cognitive dissonance without changing one's behavior. One way is to acknowledge the contradiction between one's beliefs and actions and accept that both are valid. Another approach is to reframe the situation so that it no longer conflicts with one's moral code.
If a couple engages in extramarital affairs but justifies it as being for emotional fulfillment rather than sex, then the contradiction is resolved. A third strategy is to focus on the positive aspects of the behavior and ignore any potential negatives.
Individuals handle cognitive dissonance caused by their sexual behavior by either changing their behavior, accepting the contradiction, or justifying their actions. They may also choose to ignore the contradiction entirely. It depends on how strongly they feel about their ethical or moral standards and how much control they have over their behavior.
Managing cognitive dissonance can be difficult, especially when it comes to sexuality and intimacy, which are often highly personal and complex issues.
How do individuals handle cognitive dissonance when their sexual behavior contradicts the ethical or moral standards they publicly endorse?
Individuals often resort to several strategies to reconcile such inconsistencies. They may rationalize the incongruity by justifying it as a necessary consequence of a larger goal, such as pursuing happiness or finding love. Alternatively, they might minimize the perceived importance of the conflicting beliefs or actions, downplaying their significance or insisting that their real values are consistent with the desired ones.