It is common for parents to experience a decline in their sex life after having children, but this does not have to be permanent. While parental duties can certainly take a toll on a couple's physical and emotional energy levels, it is still possible to prioritize intimacy and eroticism. Here are some tips for couples who want to keep the spark alive while balancing family responsibilities:
1. Schedule Sex: Making time for sex can help maintain eroticism in a busy schedule. Couples should plan out when they will have sex in advance and stick to that schedule as much as possible. This could mean setting aside a specific day of the week or night each month. It may even be helpful to book a babysitter once a week so that couples can have some alone time together.
2. Communication: Open communication between partners is essential for maintaining eroticism. Couples should communicate about what they need from one another sexually and how they feel physically and emotionally. They should also share their likes, dislikes, fantasies, and desires. Being honest and vulnerable with each other can deepen intimacy and increase sexual satisfaction.
3. Romance: Maintaining romantic gestures outside of the bedroom can help create a positive environment for sex. Couples should make an effort to show appreciation for one another through small acts like sending love notes, giving gifts, and planning date nights. These activities can help build anticipation and excitement leading up to sex.
4. Self-Care: Taking care of oneself can improve overall wellbeing and lead to more energy for intimacy. Parents should take breaks from parental duties whenever possible and practice self-care techniques such as exercise, meditation, or spa treatments. This can help them feel refreshed and ready for physical connection.
5. Variety: Trying new things in the bedroom can keep things exciting and prevent monotony. Couples should experiment with different positions, toys, or roleplay scenarios. They should also explore non-sexual activities that involve touch and closeness, such as massage or cuddling.
6. Focus on Pleasure: During sex, both partners should focus on their own pleasure rather than trying to please their partner. This means taking turns initiating and enjoying the sensations of touch, sight, sound, smell, taste, and movement. It is important to communicate throughout the experience so that everyone feels satisfied and fulfilled.
7. Experiment with Intensity: While it's tempting to avoid anything too intense while caring for children, parents can still play with intensity during sex. This could mean slowing down or speeding up movements, varying pressure or tempo, or trying out new positions. Some couples may even find that incorporating power dynamics into their relationship enhances eroticism.
8. Prioritize Connection: Intimacy does not have to be limited to sexual acts. Couples should prioritize emotional connection outside of the bedroom by sharing stories, laughing together, and participating in fun activities. Building a strong bond will naturally lead to greater intimacy in other areas of life.
Maintaining eroticism when parental responsibilities reduce spontaneity and energy requires effort and planning from both partners. By scheduling sex, communicating openly, focusing on self-care, exploring variety, playing with intensity, and prioritizing connection, couples can keep the spark alive and build a deeper, more meaningful relationship.
How do couples maintain eroticism when parental responsibilities reduce spontaneity and energy?
To maintain eroticism as parents, couples need to find new ways of expressing their love and affection. They can experiment with different times and locations for intimacy that fit into their schedule, including setting aside special time for each other every week. It's important to communicate openly about needs and preferences, respect boundaries, and be creative in finding opportunities for physical and emotional connection.