Bisexuality is an orientation that involves attraction to multiple genders. Bisexuals may experience love, desire, passion, lust, affection, and/or romance with persons of different genders. Although there are many stereotypes about bisexual people being promiscuous, bisexuality does not necessarily mean engaging in casual sex, polyamory, or open relationships. It also does not imply enjoying group sex or swinging. Rather, it means having a capacity for loving more than one gender equally.
There is no need to compare bisexuality to homosexuality or heterosexuality. Bisexuality can be viewed as a distinct orientation that should be studied separately from other orientations. People can identify as bisexual without comparing their feelings toward men and women. In fact, some bisexuals prefer monogamy while others seek out threesomes or ménages à trois. Bisexuals have varying levels of comfort and discomfort around sexual activity with partners of various genders.
They may feel uncomfortable kissing someone of the same gender but comfortable performing oral sex. The point is that bisexuality presents unique challenges for intimate partner dynamics.
One challenge is negotiating relational multiplicity. When two bisexuals date each other, they must navigate both their own bisexuality and their partner's bisexuality. If they wish to remain faithful to each other, this requires setting boundaries regarding flirting and contact with third parties (e.g., "I want you to tell me if anyone finds you attractive"). Such negotiation takes trust and honesty.
Even in closed relationships, individuals may fantasize about multiple-gender scenarios. Therefore, communication is key for establishing consent within relationship parameters.
Bisexuals who are interested in non-monogamy must consider the ethics of desire. They might experience attraction to many people but feel guilty for wanting intimacy with more than one partner at a time. They might question whether it's okay to express their desires in a way that could cause emotional harm to their primary partner(s). This internal conflict leads to an examination of personal values and how those affect interpersonal relationships. It also requires considering what counts as cheating and betrayal in open relationships. Some bisexuals decide to stay monogamous while others seek out polyamory or swinging. No matter which pathway they choose, they must be clear on rules and expectations.
Bisexuality offers insights into human sexuality and behavior. Its lessons include the need for clear communication about desires and limits in relationships; the importance of respecting all partners equally regardless of gender; the ability to negotiate boundaries around sex, touch, and emotion; and the necessity for introspection into one's own moral code. Bisexuality challenges binary thinking about masculinity/femininity, mono/polyamory, hetero/homosexuality, and romantic exclusivity. By studying bisexuality, we can learn more about ourselves and our society.
What lessons can be drawn from bisexuality regarding relational multiplicity, consent, and the ethics of desire?
Bisexuality is an orientation that is often misunderstood due to its fluid nature, which means it does not necessarily fit neatly into traditional gender binaries or categories of sexual attraction. This flexibility can lead to challenges in understanding the complexity of bisexual identity and experience, as well as in navigating the expectations and norms of monogamy and exclusivity within relationships.