Fantasies are imagined scenarios that people create to satisfy their desires or unfulfilled needs. This essay will explain how fantasies can be used to express unmet relational needs through examples from literature, psychology, and psychotherapy. It will also explore possible interpretations of why some individuals may have certain fantasies and how these relate to interpersonal dynamics.
What is a Fantasy?
A fantasy is a mental image or scenario created by an individual's imagination. It can take many forms, including visualizations, thoughts, dreams, daydreaming, and wish fulfillment. Fantasies can be about anything, but often they involve situations or experiences that the person wishes for themselves but cannot currently obtain.
A woman might imagine being rescued by a handsome prince while she is trapped in a tower.
How do Fantasies Express Unmet Relational Needs?
Fantasies can express unmet relational needs in various ways. One way is through symbolic representation. The heroine who is saved by the prince could represent the need for safety, security, or emotional support from someone else. Another method is role-playing, where the individual takes on a different identity or persona to act out desired behaviors or feelings. A third strategy is wish-fulfillment, where the fantasist creates an idealized world where all their wishes come true. All three methods help the person cope with difficult emotions or situations by creating a safe space to explore possibilities without risk.
Literary Examples
In literature, fantasies are often used to showcase the protagonists' unmet relational needs. In Jane Eyre, the title character has several fantasies about Mr. Rochester before they meet in real life. She imagines him as a dark, brooding man who will rescue her from her abusive aunt and provide a home of her own. This reflects her longing for a stable, loving relationship after years of neglect and rejection. In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennet dreams of marrying a wealthy gentleman and escaping her family's poverty. Her fantasy shows how she craves financial stability but also wants to break free from societal expectations. Both characters use fantasies as a coping mechanism to deal with their reality.
Psychological Interpretation
Psychologically, unmet relational needs can be interpreted as the result of past experiences or present circumstances that make it challenging to connect deeply with others.
Someone who grew up in an emotionally distant household might have difficulty forming close relationships as an adult. They may turn to fantasies as a way to create intimacy that feels safer than reality. Someone dealing with trauma or abuse may find solace in daydreams where they have control over the situation.
Therapist's Perspective
From a therapy perspective, unmet relational needs can manifest through various types of fantasies. A client might imagine themselves being rescued by a heroic figure to express feelings of helplessness or neediness. Another client might envision themselves dominating another person to overcome a sense of powerlessness. These fantasies are often explored in depth during therapy sessions to understand what drives them and how they affect real-life interactions.
How do fantasies express unmet relational needs?
Fantasies are often used as a way for individuals to fulfill their unmet relational needs, desires, or expectations. This can be especially true when it comes to sexual fantasies or daydreams that may involve romantic or sexual encounters with others outside of one's current relationship or social group. Fantasizing about these types of scenarios allows individuals to explore different possibilities and desires that they might not otherwise have access to in real life.