Queer identity is a broad concept that encompasses many different experiences of gender, sexuality, and relationship structures. One aspect of queerness that has received increased attention in recent years is the idea of "relational multiplicity," which refers to the fact that queer people often have multiple, simultaneous, and/or fluid forms of romantic and sexual relationships. This can include polyamory, open relationships, nonmonogamy, and other types of consensual non-monogamy, among others. The experience of relational multiplicity challenges dominant cultural narratives about love, commitment, and intimacy, and raises broader ethical questions about how we relate to each other in a world where traditional monogamy is still the norm. By exploring these questions, this article will argue that relational multiplicity offers important insights into broader issues of autonomy, agency, and ethical relationality.
It's important to understand what relational multiplicity means for individuals who identify as queer. For some queer people, relational multiplicity may simply involve having more than one partner or engaging in consensually non-monogamous relationships. But for others, relational multiplicity can be much more complex, involving multiple identities, multiple genders, and multiple relationships at once. In fact, many queer theorists argue that relational multiplicity is not just about the number of partners or relationships someone has, but also about the ways in which those relationships are constructed and negotiated. As Judith Butler writes, "The question of whether there is 'one' or 'many' in relation has never been a given, and neither should it be assumed to be such" (2016). Instead, she argues that "relationships are always already multiple," and that "the very notion of a 'unitary subject' is itself problematic" (2016). This idea is central to understanding how relational multiplicity illuminates broader questions about autonomy, agency, and ethical relationality.
Relational multiplicity challenges the dominant cultural narrative that monogamy is the only morally valid form of relationship. Monogamy has long been seen as the gold standard for romantic and sexual relationships, with polyamory and other forms of non-monogamy often stigmatized and pathologized. This view of relationships as either/or - either monogamous or open - fails to recognize the complexity and nuance of human experience. By contrast, relational multiplicity offers an alternative way of thinking about love, commitment, and intimacy that does not rely on binary categories. Instead, it recognizes that relationships are fluid and constantly changing, and that people can have different needs and desires at different times. This perspective allows us to see relationships as dynamic processes rather than static entities, and to recognize that no one relationship model is inherently better than another.
This recognition of the fluidity and variability of relationships raises important ethical questions about how we relate to each other. In traditional monogamous relationships, there is often an emphasis on exclusivity and ownership, where each partner is seen as possessing the other in some way. By contrast, relational multiplicity rejects this idea, seeing relationships as negotiated and co-constructed. This means that all parties involved must be able to communicate effectively, listen to each other's needs and desires, and work together to create a relationship structure that works for everyone involved. As Elizabeth Shepherd writes, "In order for relational multiplicity to exist, it requires that all partners be able to articulate their own needs and boundaries while also respecting those of others" (2018). This kind of negotiation requires trust, communication, and empathy, and thus may offer valuable lessons for broader issues of relationality and ethics.
Relational multiplicity also challenges the idea that romantic and sexual relationships are only between two individuals. Many queer people experience multiple genders or identities simultaneously, which complicates the notion of 'two' as the basis of love and intimacy.
Someone who identifies as non-binary may have relationships with both men and women, or someone who identifies as genderqueer may have relationships with people of different genders at once. These experiences raise questions about the nature of identity and subjectivity, and challenge our assumptions about what constitutes intimate connection. As Butler argues, "The very distinction between self and other, if such a distinction can be made, is always already fraught with ambiguity" (2016). This recognition of the fluidity of identity can help us rethink how we relate to each other in more complex ways, beyond the binary categories of male/female, straight/gay, etc.
Relational multiplicity raises important questions about autonomy and agency. Traditional monogamous relationships often rely on a rigid hierarchy, where one person is seen as the primary partner and the other(s) as secondary. By contrast, relational multiplicity recognizes that all parties involved should be able to exercise their own autonomy and agency within the relationship. As Shepherd writes, "In order for a successful relational multitude to occur, all partners must feel equal and empowered by each other," with no one party exercising power over another (2018). This emphasis on mutual respect and cooperation offers valuable lessons for broader issues of social justice and equality.
Then, relational multiplicity offers important insights into broader questions of ethical relationality, autonomy, and agency. It challenges dominant cultural narratives about love and intimacy, and opens up new possibilities for thinking about relationships beyond traditional binaries. By understanding these ideas, we can begin to imagine a world where all people are free to relate to each other in ways that work for them, without fear or stigma.
How does the queer experience of relational multiplicity illuminate broader questions about autonomy, agency, and ethical relationality?
Relational multiplicity refers to the ability to have multiple romantic relationships with different partners at once without feeling guilty or compromising the well-being of any relationship. This experience can be difficult for many people who may feel pressure from society or their personal beliefs to choose one partner exclusively. For queer individuals, however, it can offer an opportunity to explore different types of relationships and find what works best for them.