Sexual submission is a concept that has been explored and debated for centuries in different cultures and societies around the world. It can take many forms, from consensual BDSM practices to non-consensual abuse.
There are also many misconceptions surrounding this term, particularly when it comes to understanding the difference between sexual submission and relational self-abandonment. In this article, we will explore what these terms mean, their similarities, and how they differ. We will also examine some real-life scenarios where individuals may find themselves struggling to identify which type of behavior they are engaging in.
We will discuss strategies for recognizing healthy boundaries within a relationship that involves either or both concepts.
Consensual Sexual Submission refers to the act of voluntarily submitting oneself sexually to another person without coercion or force. This could involve various activities such as role-playing, bondage, discipline, domination/submission, sadism, masochism, or other types of power exchange. The key element is that all participants involved consent to engage in this activity voluntarily and knowingly. It often requires communication and trust between partners to ensure everyone's needs and desires are met safely. Consensual sexual submission should never be confused with abuse or exploitation; instead, it is an expression of mutual respect and acceptance.
Relational Self-Abandonment, on the other hand, occurs when one partner allows another to control them entirely in a relationship. This could include emotional manipulation, physical violence, financial dependency, or any form of imbalanced power dynamics. In this situation, one partner becomes completely submissive while the other takes on a dominant role, making all decisions about finances, relationships, personal choices, etc. Relational self-abandonment can be incredibly harmful and damaging if left unchecked since it often leads to feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, etc., among those who experience it. It is not consensual or safe but rather an abusive dynamic wherein one partner seeks to gain total control over the other.
While both of these behaviors appear similar at first glance, they differ significantly in their intentions and outcomes. Consensual sexual submission involves two people exploring mutually beneficial fantasies without causing harm or damage to either party involved, whereas relational self-abandonment leads to long-term mental health issues for the person who submits themselves wholly. Some individuals may find themselves struggling to identify which behavior they are experiencing as it can be challenging to discern what falls into each category; however, several indicators suggest one type over the other:
- Communication between partners - Consensual sexual submission requires open communication between partners about boundaries and needs, while relational self-abandonment involves little to no conversation outside of instructions from one partner to the other.
- Trust - If there is no trust within a relationship, then neither partner will feel comfortable discussing their desires freely or safely expressing themselves sexually.
- Emotional impact - Consensual sexual submission should never lead to trauma or distress during or after playtime, whereas relational self-abandonment frequently does.
How do individuals distinguish between consensual sexual submission and relational self-abandonment?
Individuals may confuse consensual sexual submission with relational self-abandonment because they involve similar behavioral patterns. Consensual sexual submission involves consensually following another individual's commands during sex while relational self-abandonment is characterized by a lack of assertiveness and personal boundaries that can lead to feeling powerless in relationships.