In any romantic relationship, partners go through various stages of intimacy, including initial attraction, infatuation, dating, exclusivity, commitment, marriage, and even divorce.
One stage that is often overlooked is post-intimacy closeness or distance. This refers to the feelings and experiences that people have after they have been in an intimate relationship for some time and may be experiencing different levels of emotional connection. While post-intimacy can bring about both positive and negative emotions, it can also reveal important insights into the health of a relationship.
Post-intimacy closeness involves feeling close to your partner, having a strong bond, and feeling secure in the relationship. It is characterized by trust, loyalty, open communication, mutual respect, and shared interests and goals. Closeness allows couples to feel comfortable being vulnerable with each other, sharing their thoughts, emotions, and fears without judgment. They are able to express their needs and desires freely and know that they will be met.
Post-intimacy distance is when partners start to feel distant from each other emotionally. This could be due to differences in values, beliefs, interests, or lifestyles. Distance can cause partners to feel isolated, lonely, and unsupported, leading them to seek out outside relationships or activities. When this happens, it can lead to tension and conflict within the relationship, which can further damage the bond between partners.
The emotional processes that shape post-intimacy closeness or distance involve a range of factors, including personal history, personality traits, attachment styles, and communication skills.
Those who experienced trauma or abuse in childhood may struggle with intimacy in adulthood and find it difficult to establish deep connections with others. Those who have low self-esteem or poor communication skills may also struggle to maintain closeness over time. In contrast, those with secure attachments and strong communication skills tend to maintain closeness more easily.
Research suggests that post-intimacy closeness is an important indicator of relationship health. Couples who experience closeness report higher levels of satisfaction and fulfillment in their relationships, while those who experience distance are more likely to break up or cheat.
Couples who maintain closeness over time tend to have better physical and mental health, as well as greater overall happiness.
What emotional processes shape the experience of post-intimacy closeness or distance, and what do these processes reveal about relationship health?
Relationship closeness is often defined as an intimate connection between two individuals that involves trust, openness, vulnerability, and emotional availability (Sprecher & Felmlee, 2016). This closeness can be achieved through various means such as spending time together, sharing personal thoughts and feelings, and engaging in physical affection (Lambert & Ogolsky, 2018).