How individuals experience internal conflict is an intriguing subject that has been explored extensively in psychology research. When it comes to deviant sexual desires and behaviors, this issue can become even more complicated. People may feel guilty, ashamed, confused, conflicted, or anxious about their private thoughts, feelings, urges, wishes, dreams, and actions related to sexuality. This paper will explore how people's sexual fantasies diverge from relational values and examine the different ways they cope with these conflicts.
Let us define what is meant by 'sexual fantasy.' It refers to imagined events involving sexual activity with oneself or others that provide pleasure or gratification. These fantasies can range from innocent daydreams to dark and taboo desires. They are often considered a healthy way for individuals to explore their sexuality and fulfill their needs without harming anyone else.
When they contradict societal norms, religious beliefs, cultural mores, moral values, ethical principles, or relationship expectations, they can cause intense inner turmoil.
Let us consider what is meant by 'relational values.' Relational values refer to the set of core beliefs and attitudes that guide relationships between two or more people.
Trustworthiness, honesty, loyalty, respect, intimacy, communication, commitment, and affection are all important relational values. Divergence from these values is often seen as unacceptable behavior, leading to guilt, shame, fear of rejection, loss of self-esteem, or anxiety.
Let us delve into how individuals experience internal conflict when their sexual fantasies do not align with relational values. One common reaction is denial and repression. People may try to push away or ignore unwanted thoughts or feelings, hoping they will disappear. They may also rationalize them by claiming they are harmless or even necessary for mental health. Another response is suppression, where people avoid engaging in any behavior related to their fantasies to prevent acting on them.
This approach is rarely successful because it does not address the underlying issues causing the conflicts. Some individuals choose to confide in close friends, family members, partners, or therapists, seeking support, advice, validation, or understanding. Others may explore alternative outlets for their desires, such as watching pornography, reading erotica, visiting strip clubs or sex shops, or participating in online communities. Still, others seek professional help to manage their urges through cognitive-behavioral therapy, medication, or mindfulness practices.
There are those who act upon their deviant fantasies despite knowing it goes against societal norms or relationship expectations. This can be extremely dangerous and result in severe consequences, including legal trouble, financial losses, job loss, social isolation, emotional trauma, or physical harm. It's essential to remember that everyone has unique needs, preferences, and boundaries regarding sex and relationships, so no one should judge another person's choices too quickly or assume that they are always wrong or right.
How do individuals experience internal conflict when sexual fantasies diverge sharply from relational values?
Some people may feel confused or torn between their personal desires and what they believe is acceptable behavior in their society. They may feel guilty or ashamed of having these thoughts or feelings, leading to anxiety or self-doubt. Others may try to suppress or deny them altogether, which can lead to frustration, resentment, or even physical symptoms such as headaches or insomnia.