The concept of relational ambivalence is widely used in psychology to describe situations where people have contradictory feelings about their romantic partners. Soldiers are particularly prone to this type of emotional dilemma due to the stressful conditions they face during military service. These include frequent separations from loved ones, exposure to violence, and challenging living arrangements that can lead to difficulties forming healthy attachments. At the same time, many soldiers develop strong bonds with their comrades and feel a sense of belonging to their unit. This creates tension between desiring closeness and seeking distance, which can be exacerbated by trauma responses such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or depression.
In order to cope with these conflicting emotions, some soldiers may adopt coping mechanisms like avoidance, denial, or minimization of negative thoughts and feelings. Others may turn to substances or risky behaviors to numb themselves or escape reality.
These strategies often backfire in the long run and make it harder for soldiers to connect with others and reintegrate into civilian life after returning home. Some soldiers find relief in spiritual practices, therapy, or support groups to process their experiences and work through their emotions.
Another approach is to actively seek out opportunities for intimacy and connection, even if it means taking risks or being vulnerable.
Soldiers might initiate conversations with civilians, reach out to friends and family members, or join organizations dedicated to helping veterans. They may also prioritize self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or creative expression to regulate their moods and manage stress.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution for navigating relational ambivalence, but building resilience, fostering positive relationships, and accessing support are key factors in promoting healthy mental wellbeing among military personnel.
How do soldiers cope with relational ambivalence created by fluctuating attachment needs and trauma responses?
Soldiers face multiple challenges during their service time including unpredictable schedules, deployments, physical and mental health issues, as well as separation from loved ones. These factors can affect their ability to maintain stable relationships with family members, friends, and significant others. The relational ambivalence created by these circumstances often results in feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, isolation, and confusion.