Dom/Drop and Subdrop May Be Gendered Differently
Some studies suggest that people assigned female at birth may experience more intense emotional drop, while others report no difference. However, there is evidence to suggest individual variation may be greater than any generalizations about how these experiences differ by gender identity or assignment. Regardless of gender, it's important for both doms and subs to be aware of their patterns and seek appropriate care when necessary. Understanding one's own needs can help prevent negative consequences from either end of the spectrum.
The terms "dom" and "sub" refer to roles within BDSM play. The "dom," or dominant partner, takes control during scenes, which may include physical pain or humiliation. The submissive, or sub, consents to being controlled in some way. Both partners take pleasure in their respective roles and are considered equals outside of them. Emotions experienced before, during, and after play vary widely between individuals but are often categorized as "drop" and "rise."
Emotional drop refers to feelings of sadness or depression following play, also known as subdrop. Some research suggests those assigned female at birth tend to feel worse post-play, citing higher levels of cortisol, a stress hormone linked to anxiety. Others argue this isn't true across genders, suggesting that other factors influence the intensity of drop. For example, age, relationship status, and attachment style all affect emotional reactions to BDSM. Furthermore, some participants report experiencing neither extreme highs nor lows; they simply enjoy the rush of adrenaline during play.
While there are differences in intensity, drop seems to be more common among individuals who identify as women, men, or nonbinary. Gender may also impact how long it takes someone to recover from intense play. One study found women reported longer recovery times than men, but others disagree with these findings. It is possible that the gender gap depends on a range of individual variables, including how much time has passed since one last played and whether they regularly practice self-care.
Overall, dom/sub dynamics can bring immense joy and excitement. However, knowing how one will react to such experiences can help prevent negative consequences like burnout, exhaustion, or even harmful behaviors like drug use. Talking openly about boundaries, needs, and expectations helps ensure everyone has a positive experience, regardless of gender identity. Those interested should seek out reliable resources for more information on safe practices and healthy relationships.