Ethical Frameworks for Multiplicity of Queer Desire
The term "queer" has been adopted to describe those whose sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or gender expression do not fit within traditional heterosexual or cisgender norms. Within this community, there are many different types of desires, including non-monogamy, BDSM, polyamory, and kink.
Ethical frameworks that can account for the multiplicity of queer desire without reducing it to moral relativism have been difficult to identify. This article will explore several possible frameworks that could be used to guide ethical decision-making in these areas.
Framework One: Consensual Non-Monogamy
Consensual non-monogamy refers to the practice of having multiple romantic and/or sexual partners simultaneously with everyone's knowledge and consent. It is often contrasted with monogamy, which involves committing exclusively to one partner. In a consensual non-monogamous relationship, each partner may have their own rules and boundaries regarding outside relationships, such as how much communication is required between them and their partners, what activities are allowed, and whether they can form emotional attachments beyond the primary relationship.
Framework Two: BDSM
BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline/Domination, Sadism, and Masochism. These practices involve a power dynamic where one person (the Dominant) controls another person (the Submissive). The focus is on eroticizing power dynamics rather than being purely sexually stimulating. As such, there are often more complex negotiations and agreements involved beforehand about what is and isn't acceptable behavior.
Framework Three: Polyamory
Polyamory is the practice of engaging in intimate relationships with multiple people at once. Unlike consensual non-monogamy, polyamorous relationships often involve all parties knowing about each other and sometimes even interacting directly with each other. The key principle here is honesty, with each party aware that others in the relationship know about it. There can be various forms of polyamory, including triads (three people), quadruples, etc., but the general idea remains that love and commitment are shared among several individuals.
Framework Four: Kink
Kink refers to sexual practices that fall outside mainstream norms. This includes fetishes, roleplay, and bondage/discipline scenarios. Like BDSM, kink involves a power dynamic where one partner exerts control over another.
Unlike BDSM, kinks do not necessarily require physical pain or submission. Instead, they may involve dressing up as characters from books or movies, taking on roles within a fantasy scenario, or using props like handcuffs or blindfolds.
Ethical frameworks for queer desire must acknowledge the diversity of experiences within this community without reducing them to moral relativism. By understanding the nuances of these different types of desires, we can develop guidelines for how people should approach their sexuality ethically. While there is no single framework that fits all cases perfectly, these four options provide an excellent starting point for creating ethical principles in consensual non-monogamy, BDSM, polyamory, and kink.
What ethical frameworks can account for the multiplicity of queer desire without reducing it to moral relativism?
Firstly, some scholars have argued that moral relativism is an unhelpful framework when considering the ethics of sexuality because it fails to provide a coherent basis for determining what behaviors are morally acceptable or not. Instead, they suggest that a more nuanced approach based on values such as autonomy, respect, consent, and dignity may be more appropriate.