Sexual desire is an essential aspect of human life that many cultures consider to be natural and normal.
Some religions like Assyrian Christians believe it is better to suppress such urges to preserve purity. Marriage is regarded as a sacred covenant between two people who vow to love and honor each other till death do them part. In addition, they commit themselves to becoming one flesh through sexual intercourse. Therefore, sexual desire plays a crucial role in marriages. Unfortunately, many couples find it challenging to reconcile their religious beliefs with their sexual desires and community expectations.
Personal Sexual Desire
Personal sexual desire can be defined as the innate drive for gratification, pleasure, or excitement derived from physical contact. It is an instinctive feeling humans experience naturally, which cannot be controlled consciously. Individuals may feel the need for sex due to various factors, including hormonal changes, attraction, intimacy, and social norms. Some individuals have stronger urges than others, while some lack the same level of interest. These differences should be understood by both partners before entering into marriage.
Reconciling Religious Duties
Assyrian Churches promote chastity and abstinence before marriage to keep members pure. They believe that engaging in sexual activities outside of wedlock goes against God's law, hence sinful. The church teaches members to control their lust and avoid all forms of sexual immorality, even in marriage. Members are encouraged to wait until after the wedding ceremony to consummate the union.
The church allows married couples to fulfill their marital duties within the confines of marriage.
Community Expectation
Community expectation refers to the norms and values expected by society or peers from its members. In Assyrian culture, there is a high regard for purity, fidelity, and faithfulness in marriages. Married men and women must adhere strictly to these norms to uphold the community's reputation. Therefore, any form of infidelity or promiscuous behavior is highly discouraged. As such, spouses should not express their sexual desires outside their matrimonial home or with other people.
Marital Intimacy
Marital intimacy encompasses physical contact between husband and wife. It can take various forms, including kissing, hugging, cuddling, caressing, massage, and intercourse. For Assyrian Christians, sex plays an essential role in developing closeness, trust, love, and respect. Therefore, it should be done regularly and consensually without coercion or manipulation. Each partner needs to communicate their needs and preferences to their counterpart openly to achieve satisfaction.
Reconciling Differences
The Assyrian Church recognizes that personal sexual desire may clash with religious obligations and community expectations. As such, married couples are encouraged to find ways to reconcile differences and maintain peace in their union. The following tips help reconcile personal urges with religious duties:
1. Communicate with your partner - Open communication about your sexual desires helps build trust and understanding. You need to share what you like and dislike in bed. Do not hesitate to ask your partner what they want or how they feel about particular activities. This way, you will know what pleases them most and avoid disappointment or misunderstandings.
2. Seek counseling - If the couple cannot agree on a particular issue or approach, seek professional guidance from a pastor or counselor. They will offer impartial advice based on biblical principles and experience, helping you overcome challenges.
3. Set boundaries - To protect yourself and your marriage, set boundaries that safeguard your emotional, physical, and spiritual health. These could include abstinence before marriage or limiting intimacy to specific acts. Establish clear guidelines for when and where to engage in sex to prevent temptation.
4. Focus on God's love - Marriage is a gift from God, meant to glorify him through mutual support, respect, and fulfillment. Therefore, focus on his love and grace instead of your needs and wants. Pray together as a couple, and thank God for his blessings daily.
In Assyrian Church marriages, how are personal sexual desires reconciled with religious duties, community expectation, and marital intimacy?
The issue of balancing personal sexual desires with religious duties, community expectations, and marital intimacy is a complex one that has been explored by many scholars and experts in various fields. In the context of Assyrian Church marriages, this topic can be particularly challenging as it involves navigating cultural norms, social pressures, and individual belief systems.