Partners Negotiating Shared Responsibility for Emotional Labor When One Is Deployed
Partners who are repeatedly deployed to distant locations face unique challenges in their romantic relationship. One such challenge is how they can divide up the emotional labor necessary to maintain the relationship while apart. This article will explain what emotional labor is, why it's important, and provide strategies for dividing up this labor between partners.
Emotional labor refers to the work people do to express their feelings, manage others' emotions, and meet social expectations for affection and communication. It can be exhausting, especially when one partner has more emotional needs than the other. In a military couple where one partner is regularly away from home, managing emotions becomes even harder because the person left behind feels abandoned, lonely, and unsupported.
When both partners feel this way, they may try to compensate for the distance by communicating more often or sharing pictures and videos.
These efforts don't always solve the problem. Instead, couples need to negotiate shared responsibility for emotional labor so that each person feels valued and supported.
One strategy is for the deployed partner to offer support before leaving on their deployment. They could tell their partner how much they love them and assure them that they'll miss them. They could also give their partner specific tasks to take care of at home, like paying bills or preparing meals. This helps the left-behind partner feel more involved in the relationship and reduces anxiety about the future.
Another strategy is for the left-behind partner to focus on self-care during the deployment. This might include taking up new hobbies, talking with friends, or engaging in exercise. By caring for themselves emotionally, they can avoid becoming too dependent on their partner's presence or attention.
Successful negotiation of emotional labor requires open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to compromise. Both partners should acknowledge the emotional challenges of separation and work together to meet each other's needs. With effort and patience, they can maintain a strong bond even when apart.
How do partners negotiate shared responsibility for emotional labor when one is repeatedly deployed?
When military couples face deployments that require extended separations of weeks, months, or years at a time, it can be challenging for them to maintain their relationships while also managing the daily demands of family life. One way that they may try to address this challenge is by negotiating shared responsibility for emotional labor. This involves dividing up household chores and responsibilities so that both partners contribute equally to maintaining the home environment and fulfilling each other's needs.