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DOPAMINE HIGHS, ROSECOLORED GLASSES & FAILED RELATIONSHIPS: HOW IDEALIZATION AFFECTS OUR LOVE LIFE

Sexual attraction is an intense feeling of sexual desire towards another person, often involving strong physical attraction to their body and/or appearance. When someone has sexual feelings for another person, they may idealize them by overestimating their positive qualities while ignoring or minimizing negative traits. This can lead to misleading beliefs about the potential for compatibility between two people, which can cause problems down the line if they fail to meet each other's needs.

One reason why this might happen is that when we are attracted to someone, our brain releases chemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin that make us feel good. These chemicals can create a sense of euphoria and increase our motivation to pursue the object of our affection. As a result, we may be more likely to ignore warning signs that would normally alert us to potential emotional incompatibility.

We may be predisposed to see the world through rose-colored glasses when we are infatuated with someone, making it difficult to recognize faults or flaws in the relationship.

Another factor that contributes to idealization is social conditioning. Society places great emphasis on romantic love and often portrays relationships as perfect when they are not. We learn from books, movies, TV shows, and advertising that love should be like fairytales, where everything works out perfectly and there are no struggles or challenges. In reality, however, most relationships have conflicts and require work to maintain healthy communication and intimacy. If we enter into a new relationship with unrealistic expectations based on these ideals, we may be disappointed and blame ourselves or the other person for any issues that arise.

Sexual attraction can also create an illusion of perfection. When we are physically drawn to someone, we may become blinded by their physical appearance and forget about other aspects of their character. This can lead to misalignment between what we want in a partner and what we actually need in order to thrive.

If someone prioritizes physical attractiveness over compatibility, they might choose partners who do not share their values or goals, which could lead to conflict down the road.

Sexual attraction can generate idealization by creating a sense of euphoria, encouraging us to ignore warning signs, and promoting unrealistic expectations of romance.

This does not mean that all relationships formed through strong sexual chemistry will fail; it just means that individuals must be aware of potential pitfalls and make informed decisions about whether or not to pursue a long-term commitment with someone. By recognizing and addressing our own needs and desires, as well as those of our partner, we can build successful and fulfilling connections that last beyond initial infatuation.

How might sexual attraction generate idealization that obscures emotional incompatibility?

Sexual attraction can lead people to see each other as more desirable than they actually are and overlook potential red flags about their compatibility. This phenomenon is called "idealization. " It can occur when someone feels strongly attracted to another person and ignores any negative traits or behaviors they may exhibit. In this case, individuals may be drawn to each other despite having differences in values, interests, or beliefs that could cause long-term conflict.

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