1. What is dominance?
Dominance refers to the act of taking control of a situation or relationship, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually. It can involve leading, directing, ordering, or controlling another person during an activity, conversation, or interaction. A dominant may also refer to someone who exercises power or authority over others, such as a boss or leader in a professional setting. Dominance can also be expressed through one's body language, demeanor, or physical presence. However, being a dominant in a personal context, especially in BDSM, can take more than just assertiveness; it requires emotional labor and self-awareness.
2. Emotional labor and burnout
Emotional labor involves managing and processing emotions, which includes empathizing with others, regulating one's own feelings, and responding appropriately in different situations. This type of labor can be exhausting, especially when dealing with difficult people or sensitive topics. In a sexual context, a dominant must deal with the feelings of their submissive partner while expressing their own desires and limits. If left unchecked, this can lead to burnout, where the dominant becomes exhausted and loses interest in their role. Burnout can result from overwork, stress, anxiety, and lack of boundaries.
3. Self-care and rest prevent burnout
Self-care involves activities that prioritize one's mental and physical wellbeing, such as exercise, meditation, relaxation, and socialization. Rest refers to taking breaks, vacations, or time off work to recharge. Both are essential for avoiding burnout and maintaining emotional health. By practicing self-care, dominants can reduce stress, improve mood, and prevent negative consequences on their relationships. It is important for dominants to set boundaries around their time, energy, and attention, so they do not become overwhelmed by their responsibilities.
4. Boundaries and limits
Boundaries are personal rules that dictate what is acceptable and what is not in a relationship, whether romantic, professional, or otherwise. These may involve physical touch, communication style, emotional intimacy, or sexual activity. Setting clear boundaries helps protect dominants from being taken advantage of, and ensures that their needs are met without compromise. Limits refer to the things a dominant will not do, either because they are unsafe or undesirable. A dominant should communicate these limits clearly and consistently, so their partners know what to expect.
5. Conclusion:
Being a dominant requires emotional labor and self-awareness, just like any other leadership role. By practicing self-care and setting boundaries, dominants can avoid burnout and enjoy their role without sacrificing their own wellbeing. Dominants should prioritize their emotional health and make it a priority to practice self-love and rest.