Internalized avoidance patterns refer to the beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that a person develops during their military service that can interfere with their ability to establish and maintain healthy romantic or platonic relationships upon return from deployment. These patterns may include difficulty expressing emotions, fear of vulnerability, and a focus on self-sufficiency. Soldiers who have internalized these patterns often struggle to communicate openly and honestly with loved ones about intimate matters, which can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and ultimately, relationship problems.
The most common type of avoidance pattern is called dissociation. Dissociation occurs when a soldier experiences trauma but cannot remember it consciously, leading them to feel detached from themselves and others. This makes it difficult for them to connect emotionally with their partners because they are unable to fully engage with the present moment. Other types of avoidance patterns include suppression, where soldiers push away unwanted thoughts and feelings, and denial, where they reject reality in favor of an idealized version of events.
Soldiers who internalize these patterns are also more likely to experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and other mental health issues. This can make it harder for them to form close bonds with others and can exacerbate existing relationship problems. In addition, their lack of communication skills can cause distress in their partners, further complicating things.
To overcome internalized avoidance patterns, soldiers must first recognize and acknowledge them. They can work with a therapist or counselor to develop new coping mechanisms that allow them to process their emotions in healthier ways. It's also important for partners to be patient and understanding as soldiers learn how to express themselves more effectively. With time and effort, couples can strengthen their relationships and build deeper levels of closeness and intimacy.
How do internalized avoidance patterns affect soldiers' ability to talk about closeness after returning home?
Soldiers who experience traumatic events during military service often develop internalized avoidance patterns as a coping mechanism to manage their emotions, thoughts, and memories associated with war. Internalized avoidance patterns can involve a wide range of behaviors such as withdrawal, numbing, denial, dissociation, and self-blame.