This article discusses the impact that recognizing one's partner's competence has on attraction and emotional closeness. Competency is defined as having the skills, knowledge, and abilities to perform well in a particular field or area. Attraction refers to feeling drawn to someone physically and/or emotionally. Emotional closeness involves sharing thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and experiences with another person. In general, people tend to be attracted to individuals who possess qualities they admire, such as intelligence, creativity, humor, ambition, or physical appearance.
When it comes to long-term relationships, recognition of a partner's competence can play a significant role in fostering emotional closeness.
Competence
Recognizing one's partner's competence can enhance attraction and create a sense of security within a relationship. When an individual feels their partner is capable and successful, they may view them as valuable and desirable. This confidence in their partner's capabilities can lead to increased affection and loyalty, which may deepen the emotional connection.
Acknowledging one's partner's talents can promote self-esteem, making them feel appreciated and loved for who they are rather than what they do.
Example
Consider a couple where both partners have demanding careers. If one partner consistently displays skill and mastery at work while the other struggles, the first partner may feel proud and respectful towards their spouse. As a result, this can increase intimacy between the two by creating a mutual appreciation for each other's strengths. Moreover, it allows them to share in each other's successes, improving communication and trust. On the other hand, if one partner consistently outperforms the other, it can cause tension and resentment over time. This lack of reciprocity can damage the foundation of the relationship, causing distance and misunderstandings.
Attraction and Emotional Closeness
Acknowledgment of a partner's competence can also influence attraction. People often find those with exceptional abilities or achievements more appealing, leading to stronger feelings of attraction.
If someone notices that their significant other is skilled at a particular hobby, they may be more drawn to them due to their passion and dedication to excelling at something. This admiration can create an atmosphere of excitement and engagement, promoting shared interests and experiences.
Recognizing a partner's competence does not guarantee attraction. It depends on many factors, such as compatibility, chemistry, and personal preferences. Some individuals value intelligence or creativity above all else, whereas others prioritize physical appearance or humor. Therefore, it's essential to consider what qualities are most important when seeking a romantic partner.
Example
Suppose a couple has different levels of competence in a specific area. In that case, they might struggle with comparing themselves against their partner's accomplishments, which could lead to feelings of jealousy or disappointment. This disparity can harm the emotional closeness between them by creating competition rather than collaboration. Alternatively, it can encourage growth and development for both partners as they work together towards common goals.
If one partner excels at sports while another struggles, they may support each other in achieving fitness objectives while still maintaining respect for each other's strengths.
Recognition of a partner's competence requires active listening and communication. Listen intently to your partner's thoughts, ideas, and opinions without judgment. Ask questions to show genuine interest in their abilities, and offer constructive feedback to help them improve.
Acknowledge your partner's talents and skills by praising them publicly or privately. These small gestures can deepen the emotional connection and foster a sense of camaraderie within the relationship.
How does recognition of a partner's competence influence attraction and emotional closeness?
Recognition of one's partner's skills, talents, knowledge, abilities, and experience may lead to increased feelings of attraction towards them due to their perceived value and contribution to the relationship (Dawson & Schell, 1987). This is because people tend to be drawn to individuals who possess desirable qualities that can enhance their lives in some way (e. g. , intelligence, creativity, reliability) (Baumeister et al.