Partners can be crucial supporters for trauma-affected veterans as they adjust to civilian life after military service. When a partner is able to help their loved one identify and work through triggers, process emotions, and create healthy coping mechanisms, it can significantly improve overall wellbeing and quality of life.
Some common ways that partners may attempt to provide this support can actually recreate avoidance behaviors that prevent recovery. This can lead to frustration, resentment, and even further stress on the relationship. Understanding how to overcome these patterns requires a nuanced approach that honors the needs of both individuals involved.
Identifying Avoidance Behaviors
Many veterans develop coping strategies during their time in the military that are helpful in high-stress situations but become unhealthy when carried into everyday life.
Some might suppress negative thoughts or emotions in order to stay focused on the task at hand, while others may turn to substances or other addictive behaviors. In addition, many combat veterans experience PTSD symptoms such as hypervigilance, anxiety, depression, or insomnia. These struggles can make it difficult to form strong bonds with those around them, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Partners who recognize these issues and try to fix them by overprotecting or constantly giving advice may end up reinforcing the avoidance pattern instead of breaking it.
Working Together
Partners should focus on helping trauma-affected veterans become aware of their own triggers and learn new ways of responding to them. This involves active listening and empathetic communication, where the partner actively seeks to understand the veteran's perspective without trying to change it. It also means allowing space for processing emotions and expressing vulnerability without judgment. By creating a safe environment where emotional expression is welcomed and encouraged, partners can help their loved one build healthier coping mechanisms and strengthen their relationship overall.
Creating Healthy Boundaries
Another way partners can support trauma-affected veterans is by setting clear boundaries around support. Avoid taking on too much responsibility for your loved one's mental health, which could lead to burnout or resentment. Instead, encourage them to seek professional help from trained therapists and offer to attend appointments together if desired.
Be mindful of how much time you spend discussing military experiences - while it can be helpful to share memories, talking about traumatic events in excess can recreate stress responses and worsen symptoms. Set aside regular time for non-trauma related activities like hobbies, exercise, and relaxation to promote balance and wellbeing.
Honoring Your Own Needs
Remember that supporting a trauma-affected veteran requires self-care as well. Partners may experience secondary trauma themselves when witnessing the struggles of their loved ones, leading to feelings of helplessness or hopelessness. Make sure to prioritize your own mental health needs and seek support through friends, family, or therapy if necessary. Encouraging open communication about these issues can also help both individuals feel heard and understood, fostering deeper connection and understanding.
By working together and honoring each other's needs, partners can create an environment where healing and growth are possible. With patience, compassion, and dedication, both individuals can move towards greater peace and stability.
How do partners support trauma-affected veterans without reinforcing avoidance patterns?
The partner of a trauma-affected veteran can play an important role in supporting them through their recovery process by providing empathy, validation, and open communication. It is essential for partners to understand that trauma has impacted the veteran's brain and body, so they may struggle with anxiety, depression, flashbacks, insomnia, nightmares, and other symptoms that affect daily life.