Internalized norms are beliefs that have been acquired from one's environment and that influence behavior and emotions. These norms may be social, cultural, religious, familial, or personal. In terms of sexual closure, internalized norms such as "good girls don't" or "boys will be boys" can lead to feelings of guilt or shame when someone violates those norms.
If a girl is raised to believe that she must remain chaste until marriage but then experiences consensual sex, she might feel guilty because her actions conflict with what she has been taught. Similarly, if a boy is raised to believe that he should always get what he wants sexually but does not succeed, he might feel ashamed because his actions contradict what he has learned about masculinity.
Self-reflection involves looking inward and examining one's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors objectively. It can help individuals understand how their internalized norms affect them and encourage openness by promoting self-awareness.
A person who reflects on why they feel guilty after having consensual sex might realize that their internalized norms are no longer relevant to their current values and needs. This realization could allow them to let go of guilt and move towards greater openness. Therapy can also help individuals explore their internalized norms and work through any associated guilt or shame. A therapist can provide a supportive and judgment-free space where clients can examine their beliefs and develop new ones that promote healthy sexuality and intimacy. By addressing these issues directly, clients can gain insight into themselves and their relationships, leading to increased openness and authenticity.
Internalized norms, guilt, and shame can all play a role in maintaining sexual closure, but self-reflection and therapy can be powerful tools for encouraging openness. Through exploring and challenging our beliefs, we can create more fulfilling and authentic relationships based on mutual understanding and respect.
How do internalized norms, guilt, or shame maintain sexual closure, and how can self-reflection or therapy encourage openness?
Internalized norms refer to beliefs, values, and expectations that individuals develop based on their upbringing, socialization, culture, religion, and personal experiences. These norms shape an individual's perception of what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, including sexual activity. When it comes to sexuality, some cultures may have strict rules regarding premarital sex, same-sex relationships, or promiscuity.