The military has been a crucial institution for many countries since ancient times and continues to play an essential role in modern society.
It can be challenging to maintain romantic and intimate relationships between partners when one person is away for extended periods due to their service commitments. This study examines how gendered expectations shape how military couples cope with separation, communicate while apart, and engage in sexual intimacy during their reunions.
Coping with Separation
Military couples often face unique challenges that can affect their coping abilities when dealing with separation. Traditional gender roles may dictate that women should take on more domestic responsibilities while men are deployed, leading to increased stress levels for both parties.
Men may feel pressure to fulfill stereotypical masculine roles such as providing financial support or protecting their families, which can create additional anxiety if they struggle financially or lack skills necessary for combat situations. Women may experience anxiety related to pregnancy, postpartum depression, or single parenthood if their partner is away. These factors contribute to mental health issues like depression and anxiety disorders that interfere with effective coping mechanisms, including seeking professional help from counselors or clergy members trained in addressing trauma responses.
Communicating While Apart
Effective communication is vital to maintaining strong relationships, but military couples may struggle due to geographic distance, limited access to technology, cultural differences between them, or conflicting schedules. Men's traditional expectation of stoicism makes it difficult for them to express emotions openly regarding fear or loneliness, causing tension between partners who long for connection yet hesitate to share vulnerable feelings. Similarly, women may be socialized to be empathetic listeners rather than communicators themselves; however, without verbal input from their partner, this role can become overwhelming, creating resentment and miscommunications. Effective strategies include setting aside specific times daily/weekly for phone calls/emails/text messages; establishing rules about topics off-limits during these conversations (e.g., work duties); discussing future plans together; sharing hopes & dreams regularly; acknowledging worries/concerns instead of dismissing them outright.
Sexual Intimacy During Reunions
Sexual intimacy is an essential part of any relationship, but reuniting after separation creates unique challenges for military couples regarding communication patterns established while apart. Some men may feel pressure from stereotypes about masculinity requiring constant sexual availability despite fatigue from deployment stressors like sleep deprivation or exposure therapy exercises designed to desensitize them from combat situations. Women may experience physical changes related to pregnancy, breastfeeding, or aging that make them self-conscious about their bodies, leading to avoidance behaviors or performance anxiety. Successful reunions involve prioritizing emotional bonding through nonsexual activities before engaging in physical intimacy, including hugging/kissing/massages/handholding/cuddling/playful teasing, etc.
Open communication about expectations around frequency, duration, positions, etc., helps build trust between partners who must navigate new territory after long periods of absence.
How do gendered expectations influence coping, communication, and sexual intimacy in military couples?
Gendered expectations can have significant impact on coping strategies and modes of communication between partners in military marriages, which may also affect sexual intimacy within these relationships.