Throughout history, human sexuality has been primarily understood within heteronormative frames. However, in recent years, increasing numbers of people have begun exploring nonbinary identities, including bisexual identities. Bisexuals are attracted to both men and women, or multiple genders. This presents unique challenges when it comes to communicating sexual needs and desires with partners who may not understand fluid attraction. To communicate these needs effectively, bisexuals can follow a few simple steps.
First, be clear about your own identity. It is important for bisexual individuals to be comfortable with their own identity before trying to communicate with others. This means understanding what attractions they feel, how they identify, and why those identities matter. Only then will they be able to speak confidently and honestly about their needs.
Second, educate your partner(s) about bisexuality. Many people have misconceptions about bisexuality, such as that all bisexuals are promiscuous or that they can never commit to one person. By explaining how you define your bisexual identity and its importance to you, you can help your partner(s) understand your needs better. This may include providing information from reliable sources such as LGBTQ+ organizations or books on bisexuality.
Third, explain your preferences clearly. Once your partner(s) understand your identity, explain the types of activities and interactions that turn you on. Be specific and avoid ambiguous language, using precise terms like "oral sex" rather than "kissing." Also, describe the intensity and duration of each activity. For example, instead of saying "kiss me for a long time," say, "I want a slow kiss where we make out for 10 minutes."
Fourth, focus on communication. When in doubt, ask your partner(s) questions. If something doesn't work, try asking for clarification. For instance, if your partner(s) doesn't know much about fellatio (a sexual act), ask them to practice by watching videos together. Avoid making assumptions or acting without consent. Instead, take the lead in communicating your desires and let your partner(s) follow your guidance.
Finally, remember that not everyone will be receptive to these conversations. Some partners may feel uncomfortable with bisexuality or question their own identities. In this case, it is important to maintain respectful boundaries and find a partner who is open-minded and willing to learn. However, this should never be at the expense of your own comfort or safety.
In conclusion, bisexuals can communicate their sexual needs to partners who may not understand fluid attraction through education, clear communication, and boundary-setting. By taking these steps, they can build healthy relationships based on mutual understanding and respect.: