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COMING OUT CONFLICTS AND CLASHES WITH FAMILY VALUES HOW DOES MORAL DISSONANCE DEVELOP?

4 min read Lesbian

How does moral dissonance within families evolve after an LGBTQ+ member comes out?

Coming out to one's family members is a difficult decision for many people in the LGBTQ+ community due to the fear of rejection, criticism, and judgment.

It can also lead to conflict and confusion among those who are close to them, including parents, siblings, children, grandparents, uncles, cousins, and friends. These conflicts arise from differences in beliefs, attitudes, values, morals, and religion between individuals, which often result in moral dissonance. Moral dissonance refers to the unease felt when there is a clash between what someone believes should be right and what they do or what others believe is right. In this article, I will discuss how moral dissonance within families evolves after an LGBTQ+ member comes out.

What is Moral Dissonance?

Moral dissonance occurs when there is a difference between what someone believes is right and what they actually do or what other people believe is right. This can occur in various ways, such as when someone engages in behavior that contradicts their personal values, when they witness someone else doing something they disagree with, or when they hear about someone doing something that goes against their moral beliefs. It can also happen when someone is forced to act against their moral convictions, such as when they have to follow a rule that goes against their principles.

How does Moral Dissonance Evolve After Coming Out?

After an LGBTQ+ member comes out, family members may feel moral dissonance due to their religious or cultural beliefs regarding sexual orientation and gender identity. Some religions teach that homosexuality is a sin, while others view it as a natural part of human existence. Similarly, some cultures accept homosexuality, while others consider it taboo. When a family member comes out, it challenges the family's traditional views on sex, sexuality, and relationships, causing them to question their beliefs and values.

A conservative Christian family may see coming out as a rejection of God's design for humanity and a threat to the family's values and traditions. They may feel betrayed, confused, and angry towards their LGBTQ+ loved one, leading to emotional turmoil within the family unit. On the other hand, a liberal family may be more accepting but still struggle to understand why their loved one has chosen this lifestyle, leading to feelings of disappointment or sadness.

Effects of Moral Dissonance on Family Dynamics

Moral dissonance can significantly impact family dynamics, affecting everything from communication and trust to decision-making and problem-solving. The family may become divided over issues related to the LGBTQ+ member's life, including marriage, parenthood, and healthcare choices.

If the family is against same-sex marriage, they may disagree with their relative's choice to marry someone of the same gender. This conflict can lead to tension, arguments, and even estrangement between family members who cannot agree on important matters.

Moral dissonance can cause anxiety, stress, depression, and low self-esteem in family members who are struggling with their beliefs. They may experience guilt, shame, and fear of being judged by others, which can negatively affect their mental and physical well-being. It can also strain relationships within the family, causing some members to distance themselves emotionally or physically from each other.

How to Address Moral Dissonance in Families?

Addressing moral dissonance in families requires open and honest communication among all members, particularly those closest to the LGBTQ+ member. Parents should acknowledge that coming out is difficult for everyone involved, but it does not mean rejecting their child or leaving them behind. Instead, they must listen to their children's experiences and seek to understand their perspective without judgment or criticism.

Parents should educate themselves about sexual orientation and gender identity, seeking guidance from professionals or support groups. They should also be willing to explore different viewpoints and opinions while respecting their loved one's autonomy and decision-making abilities.

They should work together as a family to find solutions that honor everyone's values and needs, such as creating a safe space for discussion and compromising on certain issues.

Moral dissonance is a common challenge faced by many families after an LGBTQ+ member comes out. It arises from differences in beliefs, attitudes, values, morals, and religion between individuals, leading to emotional turmoil, anxiety, stress, and conflict. To address this issue, families need to engage in open and honest communication, educate themselves on sexual orientation and gender identity, seek professional help if needed, and work together to find solutions that honor everyone's values and needs.

How does moral dissonance within families evolve after an LGBTQ+ member comes out?

Moral dissonance can occur within families when there is disagreement about sexual orientation, gender identity, and other related issues, leading to tension and conflict. When an LGBTQ+ family member comes out, it may cause significant changes in their family's beliefs, values, and relationships, which can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, anger, fear, and confusion among family members who are not supportive of their loved one's identity.

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