The word "trust" has different meanings, but when it comes to human relationships, especially intimate ones, it is generally understood as an emotional state that involves mutual belief in each other's loyalty, good faith, dependability, reliability, honesty, integrity, and respect. Broken sexual trust refers to a situation where one or both partners have engaged in behavior that has caused them to feel betrayed, deceived, cheated, manipulated, used, abused, or exploited in their relationship, whether they were married or otherwise committed. Unconscious barriers are emotional obstacles that arise from past experiences, feelings, and thoughts that prevent someone from fully engaging in life without fear. Together, these concepts create a cycle of distrust, which can be extremely difficult to break.
Intimacy is a deep connection between two people who share a close personal bond, such as lovers, spouses, friends, family members, or colleagues. It involves physical touch, verbal communication, and emotionally vulnerable exchanges.
When there is broken trust in this kind of relationship, the potential for intimacy may never come back, no matter how much effort either party puts into rebuilding the relationship. This happens because the experience of betrayal causes a person to subconsciously build walls around themselves to protect against further pain, disappointment, heartbreak, and loss.
The first way that broken sexual trust results in unconscious barriers to experiencing safety in intimacy is by causing anxiety and trauma responses. When someone feels unsafe in a romantic or sexual relationship due to infidelity, deception, or any other type of breach of trust, it often leads to an overwhelming sense of worry and fear about what will happen next. In addition to feeling hurt and angry at the partner's actions, a victim of betrayal may become hypervigilant, constantly scanning for signs of future betrayals. They may also have trouble sleeping, eating, concentrating, and carrying out daily tasks. These symptoms can last for weeks, months, or even years after the initial incident.
They can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which manifests as flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts related to the event.
Another way that broken sexual trust creates unconscious barriers to experiencing safety in intimacy is through changes in behavior patterns. People who have experienced betrayal tend to be more cautious and mistrustful in future relationships. They may avoid closeness, withdraw emotionally, limit contact with their partners, and engage in less sex or touch. Some people even develop phobias around certain behaviors or situations that remind them of the betrayal.
If a man was cheated on by his wife while she was on a business trip, he might become reluctant to let her travel alone again. Or if a woman was physically abused during a sexual encounter, she might always feel afraid when her boyfriend gets too rough.
When someone has been betrayed, they may also struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, self-blame, and low self-esteem. This makes it difficult for them to see themselves as worthy of love, respect, and kindness from others. It can even cause them to doubt their own judgment and perceptions, making them more likely to ignore warning signs or red flags that suggest another relationship could end badly. In addition, they may compare current partners to past ones, leading them to expect the same negative outcomes over and over.
Broken sexual trust often leads to communication problems between partners. Victims of infidelity or other betrayals may find it hard to express their feelings honestly and openly, especially about topics related to the incident. They may fear appearing needy, clingy, or demanding if they ask questions or voice concerns. Conversely, perpetrators of betrayal may have difficulty understanding how their actions hurt their partner's emotions, which can lead to additional misunderstandings. Both parties may avoid talking about the subject altogether, keeping secrets or denying responsibility for what happened.
Broken sexual trust creates unconscious barriers to experiencing safety in intimacy because it causes people to question their ability to connect emotionally with others. Trust is essential for healthy relationships, allowing individuals to be vulnerable without fear of being taken advantage of or used. Without it, it becomes much harder for two people to feel safe enough to share deep thoughts, desires, dreams, or secrets with one another. They must work through these barriers on their own, possibly with therapy, before attempting to rebuild a new connection based on trust once again.
How does broken sexual trust result in unconscious barriers to experiencing safety in intimacy?
Sexual betrayal can lead to subconscious obstacles that prevent individuals from feeling secure in their relationships because it shatters the foundation of trust and security upon which intimacy is based. The experience of being lied to or having one's boundaries violated can produce feelings of fear, hurt, confusion, and mistrust, making it difficult for people to open up emotionally and physically with others.