Bisexual people can feel uncomfortable when their sexual identity is reduced to a single label. They may identify themselves as both attracted to men and women, but others may perceive them as heterosexual if they are primarily involved with one gender or homosexual if they mostly date people of the same gender. This can create confusion and dissonance in their personal lives. In addition, society often assumes that bisexual individuals will be more promiscuous than monosexuals, which adds another layer of complexity to their romantic experiences. Bisexual people may also experience difficulty finding resources specific to their needs and identities, such as support groups or dating apps, further isolating them from potential partners.
Bisexual individuals must navigate their own boundaries and preferences while balancing societal expectations and stigmas.
How do bisexual people experience this contradiction between self-fluidity and external categorization?
Let's consider how their sexual desires may change over time. Many bisexual individuals report shifting attractions throughout life, including periods where they exclusively desire one gender or another for prolonged periods.
These fluctuations may not match up with external perceptions of their sexual orientation, leading to misunderstandings and challenges in forming relationships. As bisexual scholar Robyn Ochs explains, "A person may have romantic, sexual, emotional, social, spiritual, or other kinds of attractions to people of any sex or gender, regardless of their biological sex or gender identity."
Society tends to see things differently. Bisexual people may be assumed to be attracted solely to men or women based on their partner history, physical appearance, or cultural norms. This narrow definition of bisexuality can cause confusion and frustration when it conflicts with a bisexual individual's lived experience.
The stigma surrounding bisexuality can create additional difficulties. Bisexual people are often stereotyped as promiscuous or unfaithful due to outdated ideas about their sexual habits. This can lead to discrimination in workplaces, dating, and other areas of life.
Some individuals feel pressure to choose either heterosexual or homosexual identities rather than embrace their true sense of self. All of these factors can make it difficult for bisexual individuals to find love and community.
There is hope. Some research suggests that bisexual people are more open-minded, creative, and flexible than monosexuals, which could benefit them in both personal and professional pursuits. They may also be better equipped to navigate diverse social situations and adapt to changing circumstances.
Bisexual individuals must balance their own needs and desires against external expectations while finding support from others who understand their unique experiences.
How do bisexual people experience the contradiction between self-fluidity and external categorization?
The idea of "bisexual" is very much dependent on one's internal experiences and feelings about their attraction toward more than one gender, but it is also strongly shaped by social expectations of what it means to be gay, straight, or trans*. Bisexual individuals may feel confused when they identify as such because some people view them as "not being committed enough" to either side of the sexual spectrum, or even as "playing both sides.