The idea that one's identity is more stable if it remains consistent with itself seems intuitive. If you have a clear sense of who you are, this would appear to be reflected in your behavior and desires. And yet, bi people defy this assumption by challenging the binary between male and female. They do so by having romantic and/or sexual attractions towards both men and women.
Aside from questioning this assumption, bisexuality also challenges the belief that coherence equates to maturity or self-knowledge. The idea that being able to articulate yourself well, organize your thoughts in clear categories, and make rational decisions is indicative of personal growth has been widely accepted for centuries. But bisexuals seemingly contradict this notion by showing that they can experience conflicting feelings and preferences simultaneously. This can lead them to struggle with issues such as uncertainty, confusion, and ambivalence.
Instead of seeing these struggles as evidence of immaturity, some scholars suggest that they should be viewed as indications of greater complexity. Instead of looking down on individuals who lack "coherence," we could look up to those who embrace ambiguity and fluidity. Bisexuality might be seen as a sign of emotional honesty because it requires us to acknowledge our complexity rather than try to hide behind neat labels and definitions. In other words, bisexuals may show us how to navigate life's messiness while embracing all aspects of ourselves.
Another way to think about bisexuality is to see it not as an identity but rather as a range of experiences. Bi people may feel more comfortable experimenting with different identities and relationships, which allows them to discover new things about themselves. This approach to life can lead to greater openness and adaptability, allowing one to adjust their behavior according to the situation instead of sticking rigidly to preconceived ideas. By relying less on fixed categories, bisexuals might learn to live in the present moment and respond to each person or situation accordingly.
Of course, there are still challenges associated with being bi.
Many societies assume heterosexuality and judge anyone who doesn't fit into this category. Bisexuals may face discrimination, marginalization, and even violence due to their identity. This can make it difficult for them to express themselves freely and explore their desires without fear.
Bisexuality can be confusing for others, leading to misunderstandings, misrepresentation, and rejection.
Bisexuality destabilizes the assumption that coherence equates to maturity or self-knowledge by showing us that we don't need to categorize ourselves so strictly. Instead, we could embrace fluidity and ambiguity, recognizing that we are complex beings capable of experiencing multiple emotions and desires simultaneously. We should celebrate individuals who are willing to challenge normative assumptions about sexuality and gender, and encourage those who have yet to do so.
How does bisexuality destabilize the assumption that coherence equates to maturity or self-knowledge?
Bisexuality challenges the assumption that being exclusively heterosexual or homosexual signifies emotional stability and self-understanding. In contemporary Western culture, many individuals consider themselves as either homosexual or heterosexual, with both of these identities being regarded as distinct from bisexuality.