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BISEXUAL DESIRE VS MONOGAMY EXPLORING ATTRACTIONS WITHOUT BETRAYAL

3 min read Bisexual

Can bisexual desire coexist with monogamy? Yes. No. Maybe. It depends.

Most people have sex drives that seek different things from what they believe is morally right.

Some heterosexuals may want to explore homo- or pansexual experiences, even if they know it's wrong according to their own faith or culture. Likewise, bisexuals might feel attracted to both genders but choose to be faithful to one partner. If they are open about their desires and their partner agrees, there should be no problem. In contrast, others find themselves unable to ignore temptations and cheat on their loved ones, despite their moral principles. The solution is openness, honesty, and communication.

The first thing to understand is that attraction isn't just physical. Many factors can influence your sexuality, like upbringing, social pressures, peer pressure, trauma, hormones, genetics, etc. But there's also the choice to act upon those urges. So while bisexuals don't necessarily need to act upon their attractions for everyone, they can still do so without contradicting their ethical standards. They might be perfectly happy with a partner of one gender, yet occasionally fantasize about someone else. This doesn't mean anything unless acted upon. Or they could decide not to pursue any other partners but focus on being loyal to each other. Either way, they should make sure they keep communicating and negotiating boundaries to avoid misunderstandings.

Another important aspect is emotional satisfaction. Bisexuals often want the best of both worlds: passionate romance AND intense intimacy. Monogamy doesn't have to mean celibacy; you can enjoy sensual pleasures alone or in public. You might even ask your partner to join you if it makes them comfortable. But if they're uncomfortable, don't push it. Instead, talk about what would work for you both.

Some couples have rules like "you can kiss other people, but no touching" or "we go out together, but separate at events." Some simply agree to stay faithful except during trips away from home.

Bisexuals may find themselves attracted to non-binary individuals who identify as neither male nor female. If your monogamous relationship includes transgender, intersex, or non-binary partners, ensure that you respect their identity. Don't assume they fit into one box or another. Listen carefully when they describe their needs and preferences. Remember that sexuality is fluid and ever-changing, so allow yourself to grow together without judgement. Keep experimenting, talking, and trying new things. Above all, trust each other enough to discuss your desires openly and honestly.

Remember that bisexual desire isn't a crime, disease, or mental illness. It's just another facet of human diversity. As long as both parties are consenting adults, there's nothing wrong with exploring their desires together - as long as it stays within the agreed boundaries.

Can bisexual desire coexist with monogamous ethics without contradiction?

Bisexuality refers to an attraction towards individuals of both genders whereas monogamy signifies a commitment to one partner at a time. A bisexual person's sexual orientation can coexist with their chosen relationship model, provided that they have found a compatible partner who is comfortable with such arrangements. It may be challenging for some people to navigate this aspect as it requires them to negotiate boundaries and communication to ensure mutual fulfillment.

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