In many religions, there is an emphasis on the importance of controlling one's thoughts and actions related to sexuality. This can create an interesting dilemma when it comes to discussing the relative weight placed on thought versus action when considering sexual ethics. On the one hand, some may argue that thoughts are more powerful than actions because they lay the foundation for our behavior. On the other hand, others might say that actions speak louder than words and that what matters most is how we act. The Bible states "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying and slander" (Matthew 15:19), suggesting that even if someone has pure intentions but commits sinful acts, their heart is still corrupt.
Later in the same chapter, Jesus also says "Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven," (Matthew 7:21) indicating that our actions matter too. In Islam, the Quran teaches Muslims to lower their gaze and guard their modesty, while also encouraging them to take multiple wives if they can afford it. This implies that a man's physical urges should be restrained and not acted upon without proper intention or preparation. In Hinduism, the Bhagavad Gita advises that a person must "control their body like a chariot" and direct their senses towards spiritual pursuits rather than material pleasures. Buddhist monks are expected to avoid sex altogether and focus solely on achieving enlightenment through meditation.
In Judaism, the Talmud notes that one who thinks about committing an unethical act is considered to have already done it, meaning that the weight of thought is as heavy as action.
The concept of tzniut emphasizes the importance of modesty in behavior and dress to maintain dignity and respect for oneself and others.
There are also examples of sexual intimacy within marriage being seen as positive and necessary for procreation, such as the Song of Songs. Christianity has similar views regarding the importance of marriage, but often stresses purity before marriage. As for Mormonism, Joseph Smith taught that sex should only occur between married couples and that any form of masturbation or lustful thoughts was sinful. It is clear that different religions approach this topic differently, with some placing more emphasis on controlling thoughts and actions, while others may place more weight on the latter.
The extent to which each individual follows these guidelines will vary based on personal beliefs and convictions.