Asexuality is an orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction to others. It is distinct from celibacy or abstinence, which are often chosen behaviors while asexuality is an intrinsic trait. Aromanticism refers to a lack of romantic feelings toward another person. Both orientations exist along a spectrum rather than being binary categories; some people may be demisexual or gray-asexual, meaning they experience little to no sexual attraction but can feel it under certain circumstances.
Asexuals and aromantics face many challenges in today's society that revolve around their identities. They may encounter misunderstanding, discrimination, and exclusion due to social norms that privilege heterosexual, sexual, and romantic experiences. This has led some scholars to suggest rethinking the social logic of attraction, romance, and partnership to better include these identities. One way this could happen is through increased visibility and acceptance, leading to more diverse relationships and family structures.
The traditional model of attraction, romance, and partnership assumes that sex and romance lead to love, commitment, and ultimately marriage. This implies that people who do not fit within those parameters are somehow incomplete or deviant.
This view ignores the fact that there are multiple ways to form loving relationships without sex or romance.
A non-sexual relationship between two friends may be just as fulfilling as one involving physical intimacy.
Assuming that everyone wants to have children creates barriers for asexuals and aromantics who cannot reproduce. Society tends to value procreation as the highest purpose of relationships, but many people choose not to have children or are unable to conceive them. Acknowledging this would allow for alternative ways of parenting, such as adoption or assisted reproduction.
Recognizing that all relationships involve emotional connection and support rather than only sexual or romantic attraction allows for greater inclusivity. By shifting the focus away from physicality and toward shared values, goals, and interests, we can create stronger, healthier relationships regardless of orientation.
The concept of attraction, romance, and partnership should be expanded beyond its current narrow definition to encompass all types of relationships and experiences. Doing so would benefit everyone by promoting greater understanding, inclusion, and flexibility in our social structures.
How do we rethink the social logic of attraction, romance and partnership when considering asexual and aromantic identities—and how might that rethinking reshape relational futures for all?
The concept of "attraction" is often associated with sexuality and romance, but it can also be understood as an individual's unique and personal experience that extends beyond physical and romantic relationships. Asexual and aromantic individuals may not feel attracted to others in the same way as their cisgender heterosexual counterparts, which challenges traditional conceptions of romance and partnership.