Dependency is often viewed as an unhealthy trait that can lead to problems in all aspects of life. In romantic relationships, it can cause issues such as codependency where one partner relies too much on the other for emotional support, decision making, or financial stability. This can be harmful because it reduces the individual's ability to stand alone and make choices independently. When it comes to sexual relationships, dependency can also interfere with the development of intimacy and trust between partners. Dependent people may feel they cannot function without their partner and become anxious when they are apart, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and jealousy. As a result, they may become dependent on them for validation and approval. This can create a sense of imbalance in the relationship, leading to an 'erotic mismatch'.
An erotic mismatch occurs when there is a difference between the level of physical, emotional, or intellectual needs and expectations between two individuals. When this happens, both parties might struggle to meet each other's needs due to their disparity in desires.
If one person wants more frequent sex than another, it could cause conflict and frustration. If someone becomes dependent on their partner, they may not have the confidence to communicate openly about these differences, causing further complications. They may even try to change themselves to fit into their partner's idealized version of what they should be like, resulting in resentment.
Dependency decreases resilience to erotic mismatch by limiting our capacity to discuss our needs and negotiate compromises. It puts us at risk of being manipulated by others who take advantage of our neediness and makes us prone to feeling unworthy and inferior.
Building self-esteem and learning how to set healthy boundaries can help reduce our reliance on others and improve communication in our romantic lives. We must recognize that no one is perfect and accept that different people bring unique strengths and weaknesses to relationships, so finding a balance will make everyone happier.
How does dependency reduce resilience to erotic mismatch?
The feeling of being dependent on someone else can create a sense of safety and security, which may make it difficult for an individual to recognize when their partner's sexual desires do not align with their own. This can lead to a reduced willingness to communicate about sex and negotiate boundaries, as they feel that their partner will leave if they express their true needs and preferences.