When it comes to discussing eroticism and its impact on interpersonal relationships, there is no doubt that social media has become an integral part of modern society. It has enabled people to express themselves more freely than ever before, including their desires and fantasies.
This has also brought about new challenges and problems related to the cognitive dissonance between our idealized desires and our embodied realities. This concept refers to the gap between what we think or want something to be like and how it actually is. It can cause feelings of confusion, frustration, and distress when faced with the truth about a situation or relationship. In terms of eroticism, digital mediation amplifies this dissonance by creating a sense of distance between individuals' real and virtual selves, which can lead to misunderstandings and dissatisfaction in relationships.
Digital Mediation and Eroticism
In today's world, social media has played an essential role in shaping how we interact with each other, especially regarding dating and sexuality. People use platforms such as Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, OkCupid, and countless others to meet potential partners online. They create profiles where they showcase their best physical features, sexual preferences, interests, and desires without revealing much about themselves personally. This creates a virtual persona that may not reflect their true personality or physical appearance accurately. As a result, there is often a misalignment between someone's expectations and reality when they finally meet up with them in person.
If two individuals who met on a dating app have sex for the first time and one partner was expecting someone taller, fitter, younger, more attractive, or better-endowed than they were, it could create disappointment and confusion. The discrepancy between their virtual experience and actual encounter leads to cognitive dissonance, making it harder for them to connect intimately.
Social media allows users to present themselves as perfect, leading to unrealistic expectations in relationships. When these fantasies are not fulfilled, they feel betrayed and resentful, further widening the gap between idealized desire and embodied reality.
The Disconnect Between Virtual Reality and Embodied Relationships
Aside from creating unrealistic standards of perfection, digital mediation also creates a distance between people's real selves and their virtual personas, which can impede genuine connection. Online communication tends to be superficial, focusing primarily on appearances rather than substance. This means that many aspects of an individual's character remain unknown until they meet in person, increasing the chance of misunderstandings and miscommunication. People are likely to judge each other based on how they look instead of getting to know them as a whole person, leading to more frustration and dissatisfaction. It also makes it difficult to build trust and intimacy because it's hard to know if what you see is accurate.
When someone uses filters to enhance their appearance, it becomes challenging to determine whether they truly look like that in real life, adding another layer of uncertainty to the relationship.
Social media has enabled individuals to engage in various forms of eroticism without any physical contact, such as sexting or watching pornography. While this may seem harmless at first glance, it can lead to increased sexual desires and expectations that cannot be met through conventional sex alone. People become accustomed to receiving immediate gratification without much effort, making it harder for them to form meaningful connections with others who require emotional investment and time. As a result, there is often a disconnect between their online fantasies and embodied reality, resulting in cognitive dissonance.
Digital Mediation and Eroticism
Digital mediation has had both positive and negative impacts on interpersonal relationships related to eroticism. While it has allowed people to express themselves freely and explore their sexuality more openly than ever before, it has also led to unrealistic standards of perfection, superficial communication, and distance between individuals. The gap between idealized desire and embodied reality can create confusion, disappointment, and resentment, impeding genuine connection and intimacy. Therefore, we must recognize how our use of technology shapes our views of romantic and sexual partnerships so that we can build healthy relationships based on mutual respect, understanding, and authenticity rather than illusory fantasies.
To what extent does the digital mediation of eroticism amplify the cognitive dissonance between idealized desire and embodied relational reality?
The role of technology in facilitating sexual experiences has increased exponentially over time, with the introduction of virtual reality (VR) and augmented reality (AR) now being possible. While these developments have undoubtedly revolutionized how people interact with each other intimately, they have also exacerbated cognitive dissonance between desired fantasies and actuality.