Sexual feedback is a vital aspect of any relationship because it can improve communication between partners and strengthen their bond.
There are times when feedback can be misinterpreted or even damaging to the relationship if it isn't delivered appropriately. When giving feedback, it's essential to consider how your partner will receive it and whether they will feel comfortable sharing it openly. To ensure that you deliver constructive criticism without hurting your partner's feelings, learn about the differences between supportive and discouraging feedback. This way, you can give specific and helpful advice while avoiding unhelpful generalizations or judgments.
What is Supportive Feedback?
Supportive feedback is a type of feedback that encourages improvement or positive change. It focuses on what's working well and suggests ways to make changes for future improvement.
"You looked great tonight" is an excellent example of supportive feedback. Your partner may interpret this as a compliment, which could lead them to dress similarly again in the future. In contrast, "Your clothes look terrible" would be considered discouraging feedback since it doesn't suggest any improvements and is likely to hurt their self-esteem.
What is Discouraging Feedback?
Discouraging feedback is negative criticism without offering solutions. It usually criticizes someone's behavior rather than suggesting ways to improve. An example of discouraging feedback might be "I wish you wouldn't talk so much during sex," which implies that the person is doing something wrong without providing suggestions for improving it. If used too often, this type of feedback can damage relationships by causing resentment and defensiveness.
How to Give Constructive Criticism
When giving sexual feedback, try to stay away from generalizations like 'you always do this.' Instead, provide specific examples of behaviors that need to be improved and offer possible solutions. Here are some tips for delivering constructive criticism:
1) Be clear about what you want your partner to work on.
If you don't enjoy being touched on the neck, tell them directly instead of saying "your touch is annoying." This way, they know exactly what needs to be changed.
2) Offer suggestions for how to improve.
"maybe we should try doing XYZ next time" or "try stroking me here instead." This shows that you care enough about the relationship to help make things better.
3) Use "I statements." Instead of saying "You never listen to me," say "I feel frustrated when I try talking with you because it feels like you aren't listening." This allows partners to understand where you're coming from without feeling attacked personally.
4) Focus on positive outcomes.
"I love when you dress up for me" or "it turns me on when you hold my hand while walking." These types of affirmations show appreciation for your partner's efforts and encourage more in the future.
5) Avoid shaming or blaming language. Saying something like "you're too lazy to put effort into our sex life" will only make your partner defensive rather than motivate them to change.
Remember that sexual communication can be challenging since many emotions are involved.
By learning how to give supportive and constructive feedback, you can strengthen your bond and improve intimacy between you both.
What distinguishes supportive sexual feedback from discouraging feedback?
The main difference between supportive sexual feedback and discouraging feedback is that the former promotes positivity and confidence, while the latter undermines it. Supportive feedback focuses on the receiver's strengths and encourages them to continue with their behavior, whereas discouraging feedback may be critical or disparaging of someone's perceived weaknesses.