Sexual Complacency
The most common sexual problems that affect couples are boredom and lack of enthusiasm for sex. This can happen because people often feel comfortable and secure in their relationship, and they lose interest in exploring new things together. It is important to understand that physical and emotional intimacy go hand in hand; if one part falls apart, so does the other. Therefore, it's crucial to find ways to keep your partner interested in you physically while also maintaining an open line of communication about what they need emotionally.
Communication
Couples who regularly communicate about their needs and feelings regarding intimate topics are more likely to prevent sexual complacency. Discuss your desires, fears, hopes, and fantasies with each other openly. Be honest when sharing them and don't judge each other's thoughts or opinions. By doing this, both partners will become aware of their partner's preferences and be able to fulfill them better.
Exploration
It is essential to explore new activities that are pleasurable for both partners. You can try out different positions, locations, times, props, clothing, and even food and drinks. Variety keeps the excitement alive and prevents monotony. You can learn new techniques from books, videos, or workshops. Avoid pornography since it creates unrealistic expectations. Try role-playing or acting out fantasies to make things exciting and fun again.
Introduce New Activities
Try introducing new activities such as bondage, anal play, or domination games to spice up the sex life. Experimenting with new forms of touch and sensation is a great way to bring back the passion. It's important to discuss these ideas beforehand and agree on boundaries and limits; otherwise, the experience could end negatively. Take time to experiment, and don't force anything onto your partner. If something doesn't feel right, stop immediately.
Keep Sexual Connection
Don't let daily chores get in the way of having a healthy sex life. Set aside some time every day for intimacy, even if it's just 10 minutes. Don't use social media or electronic devices during that time, but focus entirely on your partner. Spend more time together in general; go for walks, exercise, or talk about your day, so you have opportunities to connect emotionally.
Maintain Intimacy
Avoid becoming too comfortable in a relationship and forgetting how much effort goes into maintaining sexual attraction. Couples must regularly remind each other that they find their partners attractive and desirable. Compliment them often, show affection publicly, and make eye contact during conversations. You can also surprise your partner by doing small acts of kindness like preparing dinner or bringing flowers home.
Sexual complacency is preventable with communication, exploration, new activities, keeping connection, and maintaining intimacy. By working together, couples can keep their relationship exciting and fulfilling without compromising emotional security.
How do couples prevent sexual complacency while maintaining emotional security?
Complacency is common for all types of couples as they grow old together, but it can also be combated by creating excitement through new experiences and activities. As stated by Dr. William F. Harley, "The key to keeping sex alive in a long-term relationship is learning how to keep dating" (Harley 2015).