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A GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING SEXUAL ABSTINENCE AND ITS IMPACT ON RELIGION AND MARRIAGE

Sexual abstinence can be defined as voluntarily refraining from any type of sexual activity including kissing, touching, masturbation, or intercourse for personal reasons like morals or religion. It has been a controversial topic for many years with different opinions held about it. This essay explores how sexual abstinence is portrayed as both virtue and source of tension in various religious, communal, and marital settings. In some religions such as Christianity and Islam, premarital sexual abstinence is considered a virtue that should be practiced by all individuals before marriage.

In Islam, a woman must remain chaste until she gets married to her husband, which means no engagement in any form of sexual activities before marriage.

The Quran states "And those who guard their private parts except from their wives and their right hand possessions, for indeed they are not blameworthy" (Al-Mu'minun:51), while the Bible says "Flee fornication! Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." (1 Corinthians:6) The teachings have made people adhere to this practice because sex outside marriage is seen as immoral and wrong according to these beliefs. Some communities also encourage sexual abstinence as a way of conserving virginity before marriage as a sign of purity and faithfulness.

In some African cultures, men are expected to maintain sexual abstinence until after getting married, otherwise, they risk facing rejection by their future spouse due to loss of virginity.

There is an increasing number of cases where individuals break the abstinence code and engage in sexual activities even though it might result in serious consequences like stoning or ostracism.

Religious leaders argue that abstaining from sexual activities makes one pure and clean spiritually, physically, and mentally because it enables them to focus on spiritual growth rather than physical satisfaction. They also believe that abstinence helps individuals avoid diseases like HIV/AIDS, unwanted pregnancy, and other STDs. Marital settings can be affected by sexual abstinence when couples decide to wait for marriage to consummate their love. This decision may lead to tension between partners if one partner does not want to postpone sexual intimacy any longer. In addition, couples who opt for abstinence may face difficulties during their honeymoon since both parties are likely to be overly excited and eager to fulfill their long-awaited needs, leading to frustration.

Some couples decide to have sex before marriage to test each other's compatibility, which can be risky because it might ruin their relationship if one partner ends up regretting their decision later. Also, many people struggle with celibacy because it takes a lot of self-control and commitment to stay faithful to one's vows. Sexual abstinence has been used as a tool for controlling women's sexuality in patriarchal societies, where men are seen as superior to women, and women should obey all their demands.

In some African cultures, young girls are subjected to female genital mutilation (FGM) to control their sexual urges and prevent promiscuity. Moreover, women who engage in sexual activities outside marriage are stoned or shamed publicly for disrespecting family values.

Sexual abstinence is viewed differently across religious, communal, and marital contexts based on various factors like morals, culture, tradition, and personal preferences. While some individuals view it as a virtue that leads to holiness and purity, others see it as a source of tension due to its consequences. It remains a controversial topic that requires further discussion to understand its implications fully.

How is sexual abstinence framed as both virtue and source of tension in religious, communal, and marital contexts?

Sexual abstinence has been framed as both virtue and source of tension in various religious, communal, and marital contexts. In many religions, it is considered a virtue and an act of self-control that helps individuals resist temptation and maintain chastity.

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