Individual justification for deviant sexual behavior
Sexual behavior involves a range of actions, from kissing to penetration, that can bring immense joy, pleasure, excitement, fulfillment, and bonding, but also pain, shame, guilt, regret, fear, anger, and anxiety. Deciding whether to indulge in sexual activities is usually based on multiple factors such as physical desire, social norms, expectations, morality, culture, religion, emotional needs, past experiences, belief systems, goals, values, personal preferences, and other considerations. Yet some individuals experience internal conflicts between their long-term values and short-term decisions, leading them to justify their choices by engaging in rationalization. Rationalization is the process of creating reasons that justify one's beliefs, desires, or behaviors after they have occurred. It often happens when people feel guilty about doing something they deem immoral, unethical, or contrary to their principles, so they create explanations that help them avoid culpability, cognitive dissonance, and self-blame.
Someone who seeks sex outside their monogamous relationship may convince themselves that it was necessary for their partner's happiness, required to prevent infidelity, or a way to resolve marital issues. This article examines the psychological mechanisms behind individual rationalization for sexual decision-making.
Rationalization occurs in three stages: preparation, performance, and post-performance. During the first stage, individuals plan ahead, anticipate possible consequences, and weigh outcomes before acting. They might fantasize about a scenario where they get away with violating their moral code or reframe it as acceptable under certain circumstances. The second stage involves actual behavioral deviation from their core principles, like seeking illicit encounters while married or cheating on a significant other.
Post-performance rationalization kicks in, where individuals create justifications to validate their actions. They may blame others, external forces, or circumstantial factors rather than take responsibility for what happened.
Psychological processes behind rationalization
Several mental processes contribute to rationalization, including compartmentalization, minimization, denial, projection, displacement, and transference. Compartmentalization involves mentally separating different parts of one's life into distinct categories, such as work and personal, professional and private, public and private. Individuals can justify deviant sexual choices by focusing on these divisions and pretending that their behaviors are only applicable within specific domains. Minimization entails downplaying the significance of an action, such as thinking that a one-night stand is not a big deal because it was consensual or that it won't affect one's marriage. Denial involves refusing to admit the reality of a situation, like claiming that an extramarital affair wasn't sexually gratifying. Projection refers to attributing one's own desires and motivations onto another person, such as accusing a partner of being unfaithful when they have been cheated on. Displacement involves redirecting negative emotions towards someone else, like blaming a spouse for infidelity instead of acknowledging one's own actions. Transference occurs when one projects feelings from past relationships onto present ones, like transferring fear of abandonment onto a new romantic interest.
These psychological mechanisms often overlap and reinforce each other in justification processes.
Individuals who cheat may minimize the act by saying it was just a fling while projecting their guilt onto their partner. They might also displace responsibility by claiming that their partner has betrayed them through their absence or lack of intimacy.
Rationalization's effects on self and society
Rationalization can harm individual mental health and interpersonal relationships. Individuals who engage in frequent rationalizations risk developing cognitive distortions, which alter perceptions and beliefs about themselves and the world around them. They may believe that others are judging them harshly, even if this isn't true, leading to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Rationalizers may become more prone to risky behaviors because they feel invincible or entitled to do what they want without consequences. In terms of relationships, rationalization can cause trust issues, resentment, mistrust, and anger, especially if partners feel deceived or betrayed.
These tensions may escalate into violence, divorce, or separation, damaging families and children involved.
Widespread rationalization leads to social norms being redefined based on immorality rather than morality, as people justify behavior they wouldn't have done otherwise under different circumstances.
How do individuals justify or rationalize sexual decisions that contradict their long-term values or personal goals?
Individuals may justify or rationalize sexual decisions that conflict with their long-term values or personal goals for various reasons. One common reason is the influence of social norms and peer pressure. In some cultures, certain forms of sexual behavior are more acceptable than others, and individuals may feel pressured to conform to these expectations despite not agreeing with them personally.