Many military members return home from deployment to find that they have changed significantly in some ways. Some may have experienced trauma, seen death, or been exposed to new cultural experiences. This can affect how they interact with loved ones, including their partners. Many soldiers say that they miss their partner while deployed but when they come back things are different. They may feel distant, less interested in sex, or even afraid of intimacy. These changes can cause relationship tensions and challenges.
When couples try to renegotiate their sexual boundaries after deployment, it is important to be patient and understanding. Communication is key. Couples should discuss expectations, desires, needs, limits, and fears openly. It may help to set aside specific times for talking about these issues without distractions. This can prevent misunderstandings and frustration.
It may also help to read books or articles together about relationships, sexuality, and intimacy.
"The Sexual Healing Journey" by Wendy Maltz or "The Sex Bible" by Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Couples could explore each other's bodies through touch, massage, kissing, and exploration. This can build trust and intimacy.
Sexual boundaries should always be respected, but they may need to be redefined after a deployment. Both parties should agree on what they want and don't want to do, and be willing to compromise when needed. It may take time to adjust to new boundaries, so patience and understanding are necessary.
If the couple has young children, this can add additional stress to the situation. Children may have changed as well, making it difficult to find alone time with a partner. Parents should schedule regular date nights or babysitting time. They should also talk to their kids about what happened during deployment and how they feel now.
Returning home from deployment may create an opportunity for infidelity. The soldier may have met someone else while away, or the partner may have been unfaithful themselves. These betrayals can cause deep hurt and anger, and lead to breakups. Couples should seek professional counseling if necessary.
How do individuals renegotiate sexual boundaries after returning home from deployments that altered their desires or expectations?
After deployment, some individuals may experience changes in their sexual desires and expectations due to traumatic events they witnessed or experienced. Renegotiating these sexual boundaries can be challenging for both partners. The individual may feel like they are not the same person they used to be before the deployment and may struggle with intimacy or closeness in their relationship. This can lead to communication breakdown and resentment between partners as each tries to adjust to the new reality.