Cognitive processes are mental activities that involve thinking, problem-solving, decision-making, and memory. These include attentional control, working memory, long-term memory, executive functions, visual imagery, language comprehension, and reasoning. Cognitive psychology studies how these processes operate when people interact socially, especially in close relationships.
Trust is an important aspect of such interactions. It refers to beliefs about another person's reliability and integrity when they act towards you. In romantic relationships, betrayal can cause feelings of anger, fear, sadness, and mistrust. Sexual infidelity involves behaviors like kissing, touching, intercourse with someone else. Emotional infidelity entails forming emotional attachments outside your primary relationship.
After betrayal, cognitive processes influence trust recovery.
Cognitive reappraisal is a coping mechanism involving evaluating the situation objectively, identifying positive aspects, and adjusting your expectations. This may help reduce negative emotions and increase forgiveness.
This depends on whether the partner has expressed remorse or made amends.
Memory also plays a role. Forgetting unwanted information can lead to less distress and more forgiveness. Amnesia can even alter memories of past betrayals. If someone was once unfaithful but now repented, you might remember their behavior as less severe than it really was. This could make them seem more trustworthy and likable again.
Executive functions manage goal-directed behavior and self-control. Betrayal often causes anger and aggression, which activate these functions. They then influence decision-making, planning, and action selection. Anger can impair rational thinking, leading to rash actions that undermine trust restoration efforts. People who experience high levels of inhibitory control (self-control) have better outcomes after sexual or emotional betrayal.
Visual imagery helps understand others' perspectives and predict their future actions. Betrayers may create vivid images of their wrongdoings and how they affect you. Such visualizations promote insight into hurt feelings and prevent justifications. Visualizing how you would react to similar situations can improve resilience to betrayal.
Language comprehension determines how we perceive betrayal. Words like "cheat," "affair," "flirt" convey deceit. Their meanings depend on context, and misinterpretation can fuel mistrust. Some people view betrayal as an isolated incident, while others see it as part of long-term patterns. Attention can help clarify ambiguous messages and interpret intentions.
Reasoning involves analyzing information logically and drawing conclusions. After betrayal, this process may lead to distorted thoughts about the perpetrator's character and their motives.
If someone cheated due to stress, you might conclude they are a weak person who cannot handle life challenges. This could lead to more negative perceptions and rejection of reconciliation attempts.
Cognitive processes shape our responses to betrayal. They include attentional control, working memory, executive functions, visual imagery, language comprehension, and reasoning. Each plays a role in understanding betrayals, forgiving them, and restoring trust.
What are the cognitive processes underlying the development of trust after sexual or emotional betrayal?
After experiencing a betrayal, people typically go through several stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. During this process, they may struggle with feelings of mistrust, which can be both rational and irrational.