Military life can be tough for many couples. Long deployments and frequent moves can put strain on even the strongest relationship. But there are strategies that can help military couples rebuild relational trust and sexual intimacy after trauma, ethical conflicts, or deployment-induced separations.
Communication is key. Both partners need to feel heard and understood. Make sure you're actively listening when your partner speaks. Don't interrupt them or offer advice unless they specifically request it. It's also important to practice active listening without judging or reacting negatively. This means restating what you hear and asking clarifying questions. When your partner feels like their feelings and experiences have been validated, they'll be more likely to open up about their needs and desires.
Set aside time each day just for talking. Choose a regular, consistent time to sit down together and check in with one another. If possible, make this time free from distractions such as TV or phones. The goal is to focus solely on building a deeper connection between you two. Use this time to discuss how you're feeling, what's going well, and anything else that comes up. Be honest about your thoughts and emotions. It may be helpful to write down any difficult topics beforehand so you don't forget to bring them up.
Practice self-care. Each partner should take care of themselves physically and emotionally. Eat healthy meals, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and seek support from friends or family if needed. Avoid substance abuse or other unhealthy coping mechanisms. Self-care will make it easier to show up for your relationship in the long run.
Fourth, establish trust by being transparent. Share your fears, hopes, and dreams with your partner. Let them know what's happening in your life, both good and bad. If there are things you need to work through, express those too. And ask your partner to do the same. This level of honesty can create a strong foundation for rebuilding trust.
Explore sexual intimacy together. Military couples who have been separated due to deployment may find it hard to get back into a sexual routine afterward. Too often, they'll jump right into sex without taking the necessary steps to reconnect first. Instead, start slowly and set aside dedicated time each day (or week) just for intimacy. Try different positions, talk dirty, use toys or role play, or explore new fantasies. Communicate openly about what feels good and what doesn't. Remember, communication is key here as well.
Building relational trust and sexual intimacy takes time and effort. But military couples who commit to these strategies are more likely to come out stronger than ever before.
How do military couples rebuild relational trust and sexual intimacy after trauma, ethical conflict, or deployment-induced separation?
While there is no one universal approach for military couples to rebuild relational trust and sexual intimacy after experiencing trauma, ethical conflict, or deployment-related separation, many experts suggest that effective communication, empathy, and mutual understanding are essential components of the process.