Most people have some degree of relational anxiety, which can be managed through communication, compromise, and trust building.
For those who are in relationships with active duty military personnel, there is an added layer of unpredictability and tension that can make maintaining healthy connections more difficult. This is especially true if the partner struggles to cope with their loved one's deployment or combat experiences by compartmentalizing or emotionally distancing themselves. In this blog post, we will explore how partners manage relational uncertainty when soldiers' coping strategies involve emotional distancing or compartmentalization. We will discuss what these strategies look like and why they are used, as well as provide tips for managing them effectively. By understanding and embracing your partner's unique coping mechanisms, you can build stronger, more resilient relationships together.
One common way that soldiers cope with the stressors of combat is by detaching from emotions and focusing solely on completing tasks at hand.
A soldier may feel numb or disconnected while serving in a war zone but appear calm and collected to others. Similarly, a partner may try to distance themselves emotionally from their significant other during periods of separation or conflict. While it may seem counterintuitive, creating boundaries between yourself and your partner is often necessary for both parties to maintain their mental health. When your partner appears emotionally distant, it can be tempting to react with frustration or sadness. Instead, focus on communicating clearly and directly about your needs without being accusatory or passive-aggressive. Remember that your partner is trying to protect themselves in the same way that you would - by shielding their heart. This does not mean you should never address your concerns, but rather that you should do so in an open and constructive manner.
Another coping strategy involves putting up walls and becoming emotionally unavailable. If your partner is struggling with trauma or PTSD, they may withdraw into themselves and avoid intimacy altogether. They may become preoccupied with work, hobbies, or other distractions to help them escape difficult feelings. Partners can support their loved ones by encouraging open communication and offering non-judgmental listening skills. It's important to remember that even if your partner is shut down, they still need your love and care. Showing up for your partner when they are ready to talk can go a long way towards building trust and rebuilding connection.
Partners can seek outside support through therapy or counseling to learn how to handle these challenges effectively.
It is also helpful to understand why your partner uses these strategies in the first place. Compartmentalization allows individuals to separate emotions from tasks, which can be crucial during periods of high stress or danger. Emotional distancing can prevent individuals from feeling overwhelmed or vulnerable, which may have served as survival mechanisms in childhood. By recognizing these underlying issues, partners can show compassion instead of judgement and encourage healing.
Managing relational uncertainty requires patience, understanding, and compassion on both sides. While it may seem like your partner is shutting you out, they are simply trying to protect themselves from intense emotions that could otherwise feel overwhelming. By practicing active listening and open communication, you can create a safe space where your partner feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or attack. Remember that every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple might not work for another. With time and effort, you and your partner can navigate the challenges of military life together and build stronger bonds than ever before.
How do partners manage relational uncertainty when soldiers' coping strategies involve emotional distancing or compartmentalization?
Relational uncertainty is common among military couples due to their spouses' long absences from home during deployment or training. This can be especially difficult for partners who experience emotional distancing or compartmentalization as coping strategies. These strategies may lead to feelings of detachment and disconnection, which can create tension and stress within the relationship.