Military Couples' Experience of Grief, Fear, and Trauma
Grief is an essential aspect of human life that cannot be avoided. Everyone experiences it differently, but some people are more likely to feel it deeply than others due to various factors such as personality, family history, culture, personal beliefs, and social expectations. When a loved one dies, grief can manifest itself in different ways, including sadness, numbness, loneliness, anger, guilt, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and fear. These emotions are natural reactions to loss but can become problematic when they persist for too long or interfere with daily functioning. For military couples, dealing with grief following the death of a service member is challenging because their partners were killed in combat or died suddenly while serving. This type of loss is often sudden and unexpected, leaving behind feelings of shock, disbelief, confusion, and intense pain.
Fear and trauma also affect military couples who have been exposed to dangerous situations during deployment. They might experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which involves flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, avoidance behaviors, irritability, mood swings, and insomnia. The symptoms of PTSD can significantly impact relationships since they create tension and communication problems between spouses. On top of that, military couples must cope with fear about the future and worry about what could happen if their partner gets injured again or killed in action.
Grief Management Strategies for Military Couples
Grief management strategies help military couples process their emotions collectively and move forward after losing a loved one. Some practical steps include seeking professional counseling, sharing memories and stories about the deceased, attending support groups, writing letters or journal entries, engaging in physical activity, practicing mindfulness exercises, and establishing new routines. It's essential to recognize that there is no timeline for grieving; each person processes it differently, and it takes time to heal fully.
Couples should also focus on open communication and supporting each other during this difficult time. They need to listen actively, validate each other's experiences, provide comfort, offer advice when necessary, and be patient. It would be best if couples avoided blaming themselves or others for the loss and acknowledged their feelings without judgment.
Creating a memory box or scrapbook filled with photos, letters, and mementos can help military couples remember their loved ones while processing their grief together. This ritual allows them to celebrate life and preserve precious moments shared with their partners.
Couples can find solace in spiritual practices such as prayer, meditation, or yoga, which can promote emotional regulation and self-care.
Effects of Fear and Trauma on Relational Stability
Fear and trauma from war can significantly impact relational stability since they create tension and uncertainty between spouses. PTSD symptoms can lead to conflict, anger outbursts, avoidance behaviors, and isolation, making it challenging to communicate effectively. Military couples must work on managing fear together by seeking professional help, engaging in healthy coping strategies, and finding support networks.
They need to acknowledge that fear is a normal response to dangerous situations but learn how to manage it constructively. Practicing mindfulness exercises, relaxation techniques, and deep breathing can help calm anxiety and improve emotional regulation. Couples should also attend counseling sessions together or participate in family therapy programs designed explicitly for military families. Seeking social support from friends, relatives, or other veterans' organizations can provide comfort and build resilience against stressors.
Military couples who experience grief, fear, and trauma collectively must use effective communication skills to process these difficult emotions together. They should seek professional help if necessary, practice healthy coping mechanisms, create a memory box or scrapbook to remember their loved ones, and focus on self-care activities such as exercise or meditation. These steps can help them heal individually while strengthening their relationship long-term.
How do military couples process grief, fear, and trauma collectively, and how does this influence long-term relational stability?
Many studies have shown that military couples experience significant levels of stress, anxiety, and depression related to their service commitments, which can significantly impact their ability to cope with grief, fear, and trauma together (Fisher et al. , 2018).