In military service, being apart from one's partner for prolonged periods is part of the job. Deployments are often unpredictable and can last anywhere from several weeks to multiple years, making it difficult to maintain romantic relationships.
Research shows that deployments don't have to be detrimental to a relationship if both partners prepare adequately and work together to overcome challenges during each deployment. What strategies support couples in negotiating the challenges of reintegration after repeated deployments?
Communication
Communication is essential for successful deployments. Before a deployment begins, couples should discuss expectations about communication frequency and style, as well as how they will handle disagreements when things get tense. This includes setting a regular check-in time and agreeing on a preferred method of communication, such as video calls or phone calls, so that neither party feels left out or ignored.
It's important to establish ground rules regarding topics to avoid and maintain openness and honesty throughout the deployment.
Focus on the present moment
Another effective strategy is focusing on the present moment rather than dwelling on what could go wrong. This helps build intimacy and connection even while separated by distance. Couples can do this through shared activities like watching movies or playing games together, sending pictures and updates about daily life, or engaging in virtual dates. These moments provide a sense of closeness and familiarity, making reunion easier.
Practice self-care
Deployment takes a toll on military personnel physically and emotionally. To reduce stress, it's important for both partners to practice self-care, whether it's getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, exercising regularly, or seeking professional help when necessary. This not only benefits their physical and mental health but also makes them better equipped to deal with relationship challenges. It's crucial to prioritize taking care of oneself during a deployment to prevent burnout and keep relationships strong.
Explore new interests
In addition to practicing self-care, deployed partners may find solace in exploring new hobbies or interests, which can enhance their perspective and create a sense of purpose. They may discover new passions or experiences they want to share upon return. This shows their partner that they have grown and can bring fresh perspectives back home.
Plan ahead
Reintegration after multiple deployments requires intentional effort from both parties. Couples should plan ahead by anticipating potential challenges and discussing solutions beforehand.
If a partner has children, plans for childcare during redeployment should be made early to avoid disruptions in routine.
Couples should agree on how to handle conflicts or disagreements, such as scheduling time for counseling or therapy sessions. By planning ahead, couples can minimize post-deployment stressors and focus on enjoying being together again.
What strategies support couples in negotiating the challenges of reintegration after repeated deployments?
The key to successful reintegration is communication between partners. Couples should talk openly about their feelings and experiences during deployment and be willing to listen to each other's perspectives. It is essential for both parties to recognize that reintegration is a process that takes time and effort, and it may not always be easy. In addition, seeking professional help from counselors or therapists specializing in military families can provide additional support and guidance in navigating the challenges of reintegration.